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Shane Bitney Crone and Tom Bridegroom: It Could Happen To You…THE Interview!

Just last week, Shane Bitney Crone was awarded the Harvey Milk Civil Rights Award.  He is working with famed director Linda Bloodworth Thomason on a documentary BRIDEGROOM: An American Love Story, which will surely be award winning, based on his relationship with his partner Tom Bridegroom and the incidents following his death.  He has met celebrities, received condolences and support from thousands of people, and yet there is still the very basic fact this is all a result of the death of the person he loved most in the world; Tom Bridegroom.  When we first saw the Shane’s viral YouTube video, It Could Happen To You, we sobbed.  The story was so incredibly tragic and yet…similarly close to home.  We watched the video over and over again, each time finding new things that moved us emotionally.  Their dog JB they adopted together.  The music.  The Christmas card from Tom to Shane.  Shane’s video had an enormous impact on us, not only for the need for marriage equality, but by looking at our relationship with more gratitude.  We no longer take our days together for granted and we are grateful even for the arguments.  To us…this is one of the most important interviews we have ever posted.  Thank you, Shane, for sharing your story…and introducing us to Tom. He will be remembered forever!

Please watch the video below before reading the interview.

1.Can you briefly tell us what inspired you to make your video It Could Happen to You?

Growing up in a small town in Montana, I never felt I could be myself.  It wasn’t until I met my partner Tom, that I felt liberated. When Tom suddenly died in an accident, my world shattered and adding insult to the tragedy, I had no say in honoring his final wishes.  I wasn’t welcome at the funeral and I was denied giving the one I loved a proper goodbye. This happened because we didn’t have equal rights.  I never imagined that I would lose Tom at this juncture in our lives: we were happy, healthy, in our twenties and believed we had our whole lives in front of us. I believe sharing our story is a way that I can honor him and hopefully prevent what happened to us from happening to others.

2.What was your first response when you saw that it had gone viral?

It was a surreal experience. I posted the video the morning of the anniversary of Tom’s death, May 7th.  That evening, I got together with a group of friends at the bowling alley where Tom and I first met and I remember how astonished we were by the fact that the YouTube video already had 10,000 views. The following morning the video had over 50 thousand views. Within a week it had over a million.  Media outlets from all over the world started sending me interview requests. It was incredible and overwhelming at the same time. The amount of positive feedback I was getting convinced me that I made the right decision by posting the video.

3.Did you have any fear associated with making the video public?

I am well aware of the prejudice and opposition that the LGBT community faces.  I knew that no matter what, this video would be controversial, however, I felt that I needed to share this story. In a way, I felt that keeping quiet would be selfish.  I was also concerned about Tom’s parents. After being told that I would be physically threatened if I attempted to attend Tom’s funeral I worried about how they would react.

Until now, I have been a very private person and I’ve never been one to show my emotions. I would always bottle up any sadness or pain that I was experiencing. However, when I made the video, I knew I had to show my vulnerable side in order for people to understand the pain that I felt.  I wanted non-supporters to really see the face of a person representing those whose equality they are denying.  Without knowing me, you might think I am an extremely emotional person, but in fact, the opposite is true.

4.Prior to Tom’s death, it appeared that you had positive communication with Tom’s mother via Twitter. Why do you think her attitude changed?

When Tom and I first got together, we came out to our families. My family was very supportive and Tom’s parents were outraged.  His father pulled a gun on him and they blamed me for making him gay. His parents never apologized for the way they reacted to Tom coming out.  The last 4 years of our relationship his mother came to visit a few times and I thought she finally started to accept us. I know that Tom loved his mom and I know that she loved him, but it was almost as if she was living a double life. She acted like she was ok with our relationship when she was in California, but the minute she got back to Indiana it was as if I didn’t even exist.

5.Since the video has been released, have you had any contact with Tom’s family or heard from Tom’s family?

I have not heard from Tom’s parents but I have heard from a few of Tom’s relatives who were supportive of our relationship and were saddened by the way that I was treated.  They know that Tom wouldn’t have wanted me to be shunned the way that I was.

6.What have been the three most positive opportunities that have come from doing the video?

This is a hard question to answer since so many positive things have taken place following the YouTube video.  I guess the biggest positive for me personally is that I have come to embrace my sexuality.  Having endured many difficulties in school and throughout my formative years, as so many gay kids, I was somewhat afraid to just totally accept myself, to just be who I am.  There was always the thought that maybe I was somehow not “normal”.  The documentary changed everything for me.  As they say, I now feel good in my own skin.

Definitely having the opportunity to turn our story into a documentary is something I never would have imagined happening.  It gives me a sense of peace to know that people watching this film will get to know Tom and learn what an incredible spirit he had. It makes me happy to think that Tom is helping fight for equality and this film will be a way of keeping his memory alive.

Another positive is the way that it has resonated with people all over the world. I have heard from thousands who say the video has changed their life, gave them hope, and inspired them to stand up and be proud of who they are. I have heard from people who once believed marriage equality was wrong and now believe it’s only fair. I have heard from a number of teenagers who said that our story gave them hope to live and it’s inspired them to come out to their families. It’s difficult to change people’s hearts and minds on this extremely important human rights issue, but my YouTube video seems to reach people and I am extremely proud.

7.Tell us about the documentary you are developing called BRIDEGROOM: An American Love Story.

I have partnered with Linda Bloodworth Thomason, Emmy nominated writer and director of the critically acclaimed film “Man From Hope” to help tell our story. We are hoping that by making the documentary we will reach a yet wider audience and continue to educate people about what equality for the LGBT community really means. It will obviously be a more in-depth look. Hopefully it will show those who somehow feel that same sex love is different from “their” love that indeed it really is no different. Before posting the YouTube video, I never attended a gay pride parade. I was not confident enough to be activist and I am certainly not a scientist who can explain what makes us gay. All I can share is my life and my experiences. I did not choose to be gay, but I should not be ashamed. Nor should I be ashamed of the love that Tom and I shared.

8. What advice would you give a fully committed gay couple regarding protecting their rights in case of a tragedy?

I implore you to have the hard conversation about your own immortality; to face the hypothetical consequences of what could happen were either of you to be injured or possibly die. I am not an attorney and every state is different but see a lawyer, get a will and get your ducks in a row. In other words leave nothing to chance. Unfortunately, you cannot always rely on the good will of family members or friends who were previously well intended. Make sure everything is documented.

All couples need an advance health care directive (also known as a living will) and durable power of attorney that are very carefully drafted. Couples who have assets need a trust and a pour over will. A pour-over will is a particular type of will used in conjunction with a trust. All the state laws vary so I would suggest meeting with an attorney in your state.

9. What are some small details most people didn’t know about Tom that made him so special to you?

After the many struggles Tom faced throughout his life, and especially after the nightmare he lived coming out to his parents, Tom never let anything keep him from being happy and positive. I know it’s common for people to say after a loved one passed that they lived each day to the fullest, but Tom truly did. He was the most talented, determined, and courageous human being. He believed in himself and he knew that he could accomplish anything he put his mind to. I have struggled most of my life with being gay, and Tom respected that struggle and he allowed me to work through it, and he was my biggest supporter. He loved me for me, and he inspired me to challenge myself and show me that being happy is a choice.

10. Today you are working for marriage equality. What are you encouraging people to do about marriage equality?

Tom and I both felt strongly about waiting to legally commit to each other until we could get married. We didn’t want to have just a domestic partnership because to us it felt like a second class version of marriage. Looking back I wish we would’ve registered to be domestic partners because it could’ve potentially prevented a lot of the struggles and heartbreak I faced after he died. Yes, LGBT couples can meet with attorneys and spend 10,000 dollars to legally protect themselves in a way that a simple 100.00 marriage certificate can provide, but that’s not right. I have heard from thousands of couples that had all of the proper legal documents prepared but their deceased partner’s families were able to contest the documents and leave the surviving partner powerless.

Civil unions and domestic partnerships are no substitute for marriage. They are an important advance in the fight for equality, but civil unions and domestic partnerships do not carry the full legal benefits (especially government and tax benefits) or cultural significance of marriage. The substitution of civil unions and domestic partnerships for legal marriage assigns same-sex couples to second class status.

I encourage people to support organizations like GLAAD, and The Human Rights Campaign that support marriage equality. Marriage equality isn’t going to be achieved easily but as individuals we have the power to stand up and speak out and show people that we deserve equal rights and that all committed couples deserve to make the ultimate commitment, which is marriage.

11. What advice would you give someone wanting to come out to their family?

I encourage you to come out to your family when it feels right for you.  If you have a best friend or a counselor that you trust, I recommend that you talk to them about it. You never know how parents will react.  I think it’s important to trust your gut and determine whether or not you are ready.

12.What do you think Tom would say to you today looking back on all that has happened?

He would probably say that he wishes we would’ve been legally prepared for the unexpected and that it’s important for me to do whatever I can to prevent what happened to me from happening to someone else. He would probably apologize for the way his parents treated me and he would encourage me to live my life to the fullest. He wouldn’t want me to be sad.

Throughout our relationship Tom would consistently encourage me to step out of my comfort zone and free myself from all the fears that have developed because of the insecurities surrounding my sexuality.

Tom brought so much joy to my life and he showed so many people how to be loving and accepting, and he is doing that now more than ever. You can’t help but think that Tom is part of all of this and his death is not in vain and he will be remembered forever.

If you’d like to find out more about Shane or his cause Equal Love Equal Rights visit his Facebook page HERE.

Be Yourself.  Be Fearless.  Be Your Own Unexpected Luxury!

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WARNING: We allow 100 words or less of content per interview to be taken, with a link to our original interview, and used without our authorization. Content larger than 100 words or copying our entire interview without our authorization to be used in ANY manner will result in our taking legal action per copyright infringement.

 

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LIKE MAH STATUS if You Like Miles Jai! THE Interview!

Almost exactly a year ago, someone posted Miles Jai’s video LIKE MAH STATUS on our Facebook page.  Instantly we were huge fans.  In the past year, we’ve watched his videos religiously, on all three of his channels as well as his part of the collaboration Gays of the Week! Needless to say…we’ve become huge fans! Between his cutting edge humor, his authentic sweet demeanor, his fabulous dancing and his “I don’t care” attitude…we’ve fallen in love! Miles Jai is so absolutely genuine that we were truly honored to chat it up and find out what’s going on under that weave!

1. Define yourself using 6 words.

Unnatural. Artist. Inquisitive. Escapist. Indecisive. Naïve.

2. What motivated you to start making YouTube videos?

By the time I was 12 I had already started filming random videos and parodies of things just around the house.  Then about a year later I caught my brother, Johnny, watching something what I thought he called the “You2”, actually called YouTube. He told me it was a place where you can go to upload your videos and people watch them, and I was like “PERFECT!” So I immediately started posting videos. My first original channel is called ‘moviemaker005’ and it has my earliest videos on there from around that time. Sometimes I occasionally check it out when I need to reminisce on how hideously dressed I was.

3. What was the moment you knew you had made it big on YouTube and how long did it take you to get there?

Well, I made this video called “LIKE MAH STATUS” and I didn’t think it’d be that big of a hit, but I knew for a fact no one had ever talked about the “lms issue” like I did. A couple months later Tyler Oakley, a YouTube video blogger, reblogs my video on his Tumblr, so I IMMEDIATELY made a video about how in awe I was that he reblogged it, and I was just fangirling/hyperventilating all over the place, and he kindly commented and reblogged that one as well. Over the course of a week it ended up on the Huffington Post, TheDailyWhat, Buzzfeed, Mashable and on the TV show Attack of the Show. Then, if that wasn’t enough, Ray William Johnson features my video on his channel and even recommended people to go check out some of my other videos. I literally couldn’t eat or sleep properly for like a week because I was just so in shock.

4. You have three separate channels, besides Gays of the Week.  How does each channel differ to you?

MilesJaiProductions is a comedy/beauty/vlog channel, but I mainly focus on the comedy aspect. MilesJaiProductions2 is a music video channel where I get into my visually creative artsy side and indulge in my favorite songs and dance to them or create an interpretive video, and MilesJaiVLOG is just for those messy, raw vlogs that no one wants to see on my main channel.

5. What are your three favorite videos you have ever made?

The Det Note, which is a parody of this popular manga/anime called “Death Note”. I remember when my brother and I were editing it, we couldn’t stop cracking up. When we were done we showed it to my mom, who had never seen or even heard of the show, but she still ended up laughing! It’s up on my older channel ‘moviemaker005’. The next video that I absolutely adore is called “Taco Bell Divas” in which a horde of drunken Youtubers and I head to the Taco Bell Drive Thru without a car and expect to order. Of course, we weren’t able to get anything, so we headed to Denny’s. Once we got there, somehow I got them to show me their underwear, and once that happened my work was done for the night. Last, I’d say my favorite video out of all of them would be ‘The Real World: Twilight,’ because on that day my friends and I had just got back from the mall and we were having our first sleepover together. We were all so wild and crazy excited at that time, just acting stupid throughout the whole video, and it is HILARIOUS going back and watching it remembering all the dumb stuff we did.

6. Who are your three favorite YouTubers to watch and what is your favorite video they each made?

Oh my god, I have so many! ONLY THREE THOUGH?! I might have to cheat…Okay, well let’s start with Tyler Oakley. I think the first video I saw on his channel would be “Dolla Store Diva” in which I instantly fell in love and subscribed. The ghetto accent had me floored. Kingsley would be a next with his video, ‘THINGS I HATE’. The words that came out of his mouth were unreal and I loved every bit of it. Next would be Shane Dawson; he is disgustingly hilarious and I always have appreciated that. My favorite from him would be his Twilight New Moon parody. He literally had me laughing in tears when he was drinking Bella’s period blood as Edward. Ryan James Yezak, had captured my heart with his music video for ‘Telephone’, and his newer videos have gotten progressively better. Lastly, CommunityChannel, which I thought was some kind of family channel or something (it’s not) which is filmed and edited by the brilliantly humorous Natalie Tran.  My favorite video of hers would probably be all of them. I’m dead serious. I went through all of them and it’s just…I think I’m in love with her.

7. What are three things we wouldn’t know by looking at you?

Well, for starters, I’m a man and I identify as such. That one almost always comes up in conversation whenever I’m meeting someone new. Not too many people know about this next one, but I love to sing, and I have produced songs on my computer, but I never share it because I’m very well aware my singing is horrible. Lastly, I’m always second guessing myself. Even as I’m typing this, I’m wondering “Is this correct grammar? Am I doing this right? Does that sound good? Probably not. Let me try again.” It’s exhausting.

8. If you could only listen to three CD’s for the rest of your life, and they couldn’t be mixed, what would they be?

Definitely “Lights-The Listening”, for all the electro pop beats and relatable songs, “Michelle Branch-The Spirit Room”,  I’ve been listening to that album since I was 8 and it still remains relevant in my life and “Perfume-JPN” because I can’t live without my Jpop.

9. What is it like to have a huge following and fan base?

Well….it’s AWESOME! I don’t think it’s that huge, but it definitely feels like we’re a big family in a sense. It’s opened a lot of doors for me and these wonderful people have inadvertently (or purposely, bless you) given me the opportunity to meet so many amazing Youtubers and support myself. Also, it’s great being able to quickly spread word about things that I care about and want to share with other people!

10. Do you receive hate mail or comments and if so how do you respond?

Of course I do! I don’t know anyone on the internet that doesn’t receive that crap. Whenever I get hate mail sometimes I’ll respond with sarcasm, but honestly I’m trying not to respond to it at all and just focus on all the positive comments I get, because the viewers will focus on them too and it’ll encourage them to leave nice things to each other. It’s very easy for the viewers to become all riled up in themselves because of one comment, or a few. Just check out the video I made with Jenna Marbles, the comments are a MESS.

11. Why is blue hair your favorite?

It’s not my favorite, really. It’s just my hair color of choice for now. I’m very fickle when it comes to my hair. So far, when my hair was all pink, that was my top favorite!

12. If you were given $500,000 but had to spend it on yourself in one day and couldn’t give any of it away, what would you spend it on?

Well, I’d immediately spend some on a car and insurance, because I need a car in my life right now. Besides that, I’d definitely spread the wealth. I give some to my mom, dad, brother and some of my friends, and then I’d see if I could give some to a charity. Pay for school, move out, pay rent, buy an awesome camera, lighting, microphone, all that good stuff…and I think that’s it.

13. What do you think is the most important LGBT issue today?

Gay marriage is definitely comes first to my mind. I think it’s absolutely ridiculous how long it’s taking to get it legalized considering the perfectly logical and thought out arguments for it. People keep involving the bible, but whatever happened to “Separation of Church and State”? Get with it America, most of the rest of the world already got the message.

14. What advice would you give a teenager who wants to come out but is afraid?

It depends on the situation that they’re in. Normally, I would tell them, especially if they are living with their parents, to ask themselves if their parents would really be okay with it. If they weren’t, then I’d tell them to just wait. The whole point of coming out is to liberate you and if you don’t think you’ll be liberated after you come out, then you don’t need to. On the other hand, if you think they’ll be okay with it, do whatever makes you feel comfortable to tell them.

15. What do you think the world can learn through androgyny?

Being a woman or having a likeness of one does not make you “weak”. Just because a man may have feminine traits or habits does not mean that he is “weak”. On the contrary, this man is just as strong as any other, but he just prefers to wear heels and a dress. Weakness is that of coward who refuses to be themselves, but picks upon people who they wish to be.

16. How do you define sexy? Who is the sexiest celebrity? Sexiest YouTuber? Sexiest Store? Sexiest place to kiss?

Sexy is when you have a great looking guy, who’s smart, considerate, has an open mind, listens to you and knows how to make you laugh (and who will occasionally feed you). The sexiest celebrity for me would be Dylan O’Brien or Tyler Hoechlin, I love them both…together, mostly. My top 3 sexiest YouTubers are Chris Thompson (supricky06), Tyler Oakley and Ryan James Yezak. Chris has got a great sense of humor, he’s charmingly handsome and he can serenade the shit out me any day. Tyler is extremely hospitable, witty and wild as hell, and his stupidly cute laugh, gorgeous eyes and bright smile are sweet enough to give you diabetes in the best way. The sexiest store for me would be Wal-Mart, in the underwear section. When I was younger I would purposely avoid it because the models on the underwear were ridiculously attractive. I wish I was kidding. Sexiest place to kiss…I mean, on the couch, on an airplane, on the floor, I’m not picky, just as long as all their focus is on me. Now that is sexy, haaaaaaay~

17. What is too personal or too serious to talk about in your videos?

I’m not in a relationship right now, but if I’m ever in one I won’t be announcing it on YouTube anytime soon. I really don’t find the idea of other people I don’t know telling me what I should and shouldn’t do in my relationship very attractive. Also, my relationships with some of my family and friends I like to keep hidden, because I’ve had cases where people have tried to take advantage of them to get close to me. Besides that, if I can make it funny or palatable in my video, then it’s not off limits.

18. What are your 3 favorite books?

I love the series ‘A Series of Unfortunate Events’ books, ‘The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales’ is a childhood favorite of mine, makes me laugh to this day, and this manga titled ‘Complex’ which follows the whole lives of two childhood friends turned lovers. Least to say, the last one shattered my heart into a million pieces.

19. What would you like to have achieved in the next five years?

I’d have my college degree in Film and Video Production/Communications, move out of this tiny apartment with my dad and own a car and an apartment in Los Angeles, specifically West Hollywood, where all the party/a couple of my fellow YouTubers seem to be at. Work with Shane Dawson (ShaneDawsonTV), Shanna (heyyoshanna), KatSketch, DailyGrace, Kingsley and JPMetz in a video…and any other of my favorite Youtubers that I can get into contact with. This might be reaching a bit high, but I’d love to have done some kind of hosting, acting or something on a TV show. A bigger audience on YouTube would be a really nice achievement as well! I would also very much like to have said that I’ve had at least one actual boyfriend by that time. That would be great.

20. What are your three simple luxuries?

Being able to laugh, enjoy each other’s company and the taste of delicious food.

 

Thanks buddy!

Be Yourself.  Be Fearless.  Be Your Own Unexpected Luxury!

Please check out our interviews with other YouTubers Davey Wavey, Tyler Oakley, Will & RJ(Shep689), Gregory Gorgeous, Johnnyboyxo and dudeneedaeaseonup in our INTERVIEW Section…And follow us for more YouTube interviews coming up!

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WARNING: We allow 100 words or less of content per interview to be taken, with a link to our original interview, and used without our authorization. Content larger than 100 words or copying our entire interview without our authorization to be used in ANY manner will result in our taking legal action per copyright infringement.

*Image Source: Miles Jai Productions

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Who Is Qwote??? THE Interview!

Earlier this summer, we listed Qwote‘s Throw Your Hands Up as one the best club songs this summer.  Immediately, our post got thousands of hits making us want to know more about this amazing Haitian born musician who is collaborating with almost every famous name, including Pitbull and Shaggy, on the R&B charts. What we found out about this guy was that he is incredibly passionate about music and authentic and genuine in his nature.  Not only was he an absolute charm to interview, but he also personally addressed our interactions, blessing our success and our families!

1. Introduce us to Qwote in 7 words or less.

Save the Bullshit for someone else!

2. What are three things we wouldn’t know by looking at you?

I’m a comedian at heart, I have a tremendous fear of flying, and I suffer from acrophobia(really fucking bad)

3. Tell us about growing up in Haiti and moving to the United States?

Well I don’t remember Haiti very well; I was too young. All I remember is the frisco man who used to come through the block with this ice box cart of friscos.  Friscos were flavor covered crushed ice. That shit was good! Moving to the US was a blur to me but according to my grandmother she had to sacrifice a lot to bring my mother and I into the states.

4. Do you ever use Haiti as inspiration for your music?

Yes I have. Especially when the country experienced the earthquake. The island feel/vibe flows through my blood and you can hear it sometimes in records like Throw Your Hands Up and Sexy Diva.  I’m an island boy at heart!

5. When did you know you wanted to be a musician?

I was 12 when I knew I wanted to be a musician. Music became my refuge from the family issues I was dealing with then.

6. How do you get introduced to the music industry?

I remember working on reggae artist Wayne Wonders album and realizing “wow I think I just got introduced to the industry”. So it was when I was first introduced to writing on his project.

7. What is the variable that sets Miami apart from the other cities?

Haha.  The weather. Also the melting pot of people from all over the world. It’s a beautiful thing to be introduced to so many cultures at one time. That’s Miami for you!!!

8. How did your working relationship with Pitbull begin?

I’ve known Pit for a a long time. We have great respect for each other’s work and always have. However, it took management to finally make that collabo connect happen.

9. 2012 has been a great year for you.  Out of all the musicians you’ve worked with this year; who has been your number one favorite?

I’ve enjoyed working with everyone. And the reason being is because I’ve learned so much from them. For example, determination and humbleness from Pit, respect and wisdom from Shaggy, and that’s just to name a few. There is no one favorite. They’ve all been trendsetters for me.

10. If you could work with any 3 musicians, dead or alive, who would they be and why?

I would love to work with Prince. He’s a musical genius. That record would be a smash with just a chorus and music TRUST! Michael(Jackson) would have been an incredible experience. Just writing for him would have been enough. Wouldn’t mind working with Kanye West.  I’m very impressed with him. He is definitely a metaphoric lyricist.

11. Outside from your music genre, who is a musician you look up to and respect, and why?

Prince. We share the same religious beliefs but he is more active and involved in it than I am. I respect the fact he is able to balance music and his faith.

12. If you had to write out side of your music genre, which one would you pick and why?

I would write country. I love the writing substance and how devoted the fans are. Young and old. Impressive.

13. How do you define sexy?

Sexy is waking up next to me with no makeup on in sweats, pedicure toes , a wife beater on with the prettiest smile ever for me or a brand new black on black Bently straight off the lot!! Now that’s sexy!

14. What is the sexiest city, club, hotel, place to kiss, song to have sex to?

I can’t honestly answer that since I haven’t been all over the world yet but for where I have been, sexiest city has to be Miami, sexiest club would have to be Liv in Miami and hotel would be the W in Miami as well.  Sexiest song would be mine “I WANT YOU” featuring Rick Ross.

15. Tell us about your new single “Letting Go”.  What inspired this song and video?

This record is an incredible record with feeling, club vibe and substance,  all in one. It’s a great radio friendly record. The song was inspired by a true life experience I was involved in. Same scenario. Keep in mind the album is based on my true stories. As for the video, that came together from creative director David Rousseau.

16. What upcoming projects do you have planned?

I’m putting out the new mixtape soon.  I have an incredible album coming out next year called L.U.S.T(living under sin truthfully). Also part of an amazing Pitbull and friends collabo album coming out this fall. And finally working on the next tour.

17. What’s your favorite part of the music industry?

The industry is so fucked up, but I have to say my favorite part is where I can see the expressions on my fans faces when I perform for them! Then I understand why it’s all worth it!

18. Outside of music, what are you most passionate about?

God

19. What is next for Qwote?

The big screen

20. What are your three simple luxuries?

Air conditioning, my laptop, and that good ass pizza down the street!

Thanks buddy!!!

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WARNING: We allow 100 words or less of content per interview to be taken, with a link to our original interview, and used without our authorization. Content larger than 100 words or copying our entire interview without our authorization to be used in ANY manner will result in our taking legal action per copyright infringement.

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Hopelessly Uncool: Jay Bell-Author of Something Like Summer!

Honestly, we didn’t have high hopes when we opened the cover of Jay Bell‘s award winning novel Something Like Summer.  We hadn’t heard much about it and based on a recommendation from a follower, decided to crack it open and see if there was any merit to the award winning novelist.  We were quite pleasantly surprised, to say the least.  Something Like Summer might easily be the best read we’ve had all year! Jay Bell is not only a storyteller…he is a writer; there is a huge difference.  Storytellers simply tell good stories but struggle crafting their art.  Writers can lift the story above and beyond to a place all of it’s own.  With Something Like Summer, Jay Bell has created a space where love and romance; grief, understanding and change all resonate with the reader, whether gay or straight, much in the same way Annie Proulx did in Brokeback Mountain.  Jay Bell, the writer, happens to be gay and his subject matter happens to be gay themed, but the theme and understanding is universal.  Now, after having read several of his books in only a week’s time, we’ve learned that this universality in his writing is common within all of his characters.  His attitudes towards writing are passion filled and enlightening while his thoughts on bullying and teenage acceptance warrant a need to look in a more realistic view of these headline-pulling issues.  Simply put…he knows his shit! His writing is so raw and vulnerable that we wanted to talk with him and find out more about the guy behind the characters who will forever live in our minds, like friends we’ve known for a very long time.

1. How long did it take you to write Something Like Summer and what was your process?

For me, starting to write a book is like watching a movie trailer. I get a general idea of the plot, and there are flashes of exciting scenes. The process is then filling in the blanks. I usually know the beginning of a story and have a good idea of the ending, but all those parts in between are written as they are discovered. I don’t remember how long it took to complete Something Like Summer, but I became more fevered the further I went.

 

2. What inspired you to write Something Like Summer? What is the story behind Something Like Winter?

When starting Something Like Summer, I was burnt out on fantasy. At the time I had just finished writing my debut novel, The Cat in the Cradle, which had taken many years of struggle. I even started over from scratch at one point, discarding a complete novel many drafts in.  After that experience, I wanted to write something totally different, so I drew from my own experiences, or those oft repeated stories that so many gay people go through when growing up. I hadn’t read many gay books at this point, so I was driven by a need to write the book I wanted to read. I think that’s what most authors do. They want to entertain themselves. It’s only later that the audience is taken into consideration.

 

As for Something Like Winter, my readers wanted the story to continue, but I had my concerns. There’s a gay manga series I love to bits called Gravitation. By the time that series ends, the two lovers are on equal standing. They’ve faced their demons and come out stronger. Finally they can live happily ever after, right? Except the success of the series demanded more, so naturally the author brought the characters back, shoehorned a kid into their lives, and made one of the guys have an affair. Soap operas are so terrible because they’re never allowed to end. The writers have to resort to more and more extremes to keep the plot moving.

 

With this in mind, I decided the best way to give the readers more of Something Like Summer was to flush out the story that’s already there. Not only does this mean showing what Tim’s life was like in the years apart from Ben, but there are also scenes of their time together to be revealed or expounded upon. When writing Something Like Winter, I wasn’t sure if this method was going to work, but having read through the book many times now, I’m extremely proud of the result. A good sequel should be “more and yet the same”, and I hope readers are as happy to return to Ben and Tim’s life as I was.

 

3. On your blog, you defined yourself in high school as a rebellious nerd.  What made you a rebellious nerd?

Of all my characters, I probably have the most in common with David Henry from Kamikaze Boys. Like him, I was exceedingly uncool, engaging in long video game marathons and taking breaks to run around the woods while dreaming of magical realms. Also like David, I was never able to compromise when it comes to who I am. That meant getting picked on and being called names, but it would have been much worse to pretend I was someone that I wasn’t, or to not stand up for my beliefs. I gave teachers and principals hell, set stuff on fire, did drugs, skipped school, and got in endless trouble, all while collecting action figures and reading countless fantasy novels. I was all over the place, regardless of what society thought of me. But most of all, I was uncool.

 

4. What three pieces of advice would you give an aspiring writer who wants to be published?

Don’t take no for an answer. Agents and publishers might join the industry because of a love for books, but at the end of the day, they need to make money. Unfortunately, this means they focus on publishing what they perceive as marketable and profitable. A lot of original voices used to get culled by this process, but now with self-publishing, we all have a chance to be heard. The audience votes with their wallet. Focus on writing the best story you can. If a publisher wants it, great. If not, don’t let that stop you.

 

5. Can writers make a full time living off of their writing?

Yes, but it’s a marathon, not a race. Every book you publish adds to your income. Some will be hits, and others will help you pay your taxes and that’s about it. The more you try, the more hits you get, and the more you’ll make. But it takes years of trying and struggling and patience. I don’t recommend writing as a day job. Not at first, anyway.

 

6. What are 3 books you would suggest to a good friend?

The Giving Tree- Not only is it a gorgeous children’s book by the late great Shel Silverstein, but it’s a masterful example of how emotion can be evoked in just a few short pages and a handful of words. That’s powerful stuff!

 

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone- It’s not Rowling’s best book by far, but it got legions of her fans hooked. I don’t care for the movies and have ignored all the merchandising, but the Harry Potter book series is gorgeous. It’s flawed, clumsy, emotional, idealistic, and at times too grim… but anything worth reading is!

 

The Time Traveler’s Wife- Innovative storytelling and a brilliant presentation of sci-fi/fantasy to a mainstream audience. I suspect more and more fantasy novels will be set in present day reality but feature extraordinary events. Aside from all that, this book really tugged at my heart strings.

 

7. Tell us about your husband Andreas and why he makes a good husband.

Andreas and I were outside dining at a restaurant the other day, when the guy next to us finished eating and left. On his table was a near empty glass of juice, with just enough left inside to attract bees. Soon the bees got trapped at the bottom. The walls of the glass were too slick, the bees’ wings covered in juice the more they struggled. I couldn’t pull my eyes away, so Andreas took a straw and started fishing the bees out, one by one. The other diners were soon staring and the waitress came to clear the table, but Andreas kept at it until every bee was free. Then he put them in a nearby plant, where we watched them clean themselves and dry out. By the end of the meal, they had all flown away. When I thanked him for doing this, he simply shrugged and said, “I saw that concerned look on your face.” Obviously there’s a lot more to Andreas than this, but it’s a perfect example of why I love him.

8. What inspired your book Kamikaze Boys?

Mostly I wanted to write a love story where the conflict came from the outside. No bickering or misunderstanding between these boys! I wanted to show two guys in love that are assaulted by their world, but strong enough when together to fight back. I also wanted to show the effects of bullying and the options that victims have. Adults tend to give advice that’s very safe and within legal limitations, when truly I think people need to do anything they can to cope. The haters want you to roll over. They want to drive you to suicide or self-destructive behavior. Don’t do that. Spit in their eyes instead and fight back anyway you can, even passively, if that’s what it takes to survive being victimized.

 

9. Of all of your characters you’ve written about, do you have one you got the most attached to and why?

Tim Wyman from Something Like Summer. When the reviews of that book first came out, I was surprised that some readers strongly disliked him. The more I spoke with these readers, the more I realized that they didn’t see Tim through my eyes. To me he’s very misunderstood, and I feel very protective of him, so I’m happy to be able to reveal his story. I think I love him so much because of how much he has to grow. Tim doesn’t have an easy road ahead of him, but he ends up traveling further than any of my other characters.

 

10. If you had a theme song for your life, what would it be?

All right, this one is vague, but I’d choose The Quest for Glory theme song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WraS64YOT8A It’s from an old defunct video game series, and I’ve been humming it nonstop since I was a kid. I do a pretty mean opera version in the shower as well. … I mentioned how uncool I am, right?

 

11. What are three things we wouldn’t know by looking at you?

That I have abs of steel, x-ray vision, and that I’m not really a mild-mannered reporter.

 

12. If you were going to date any of your characters, who would it be?

Connor Williams from Kamikaze Boys. I guess I have a thing for misunderstood guys. Maybe that’s why I married a foreigner that I’m always misunderstanding. Anyway, Connor has the bad reputation, the sexy scar, and the killer body, but it’s really the gentleness of his heart that I find so appealing. He would never hurt David on purpose, which sounds so basic and expected in a relationship, but is rarer than some might think.

 

13. Tell us about the movie adaptation of Something Like Summer.

The Something Like Summer movie is being handled by the same talent behind the phenomenal Judas Kiss. We’ve got the same director and screenwriter, which I’m thrilled about, because I feel they are ahead of the game. Gay cinema isn’t just about coming out or falling in love anymore. People want to experience quality stories featuring characters that just happen to be gay. And we want movies filmed with just as much skill and care as mainstream cinema. I feel Judas Kiss delivers on all accounts. I’ve read early drafts of the Something Like Summer script, and I’m very impressed. All the important events are in there. Casting hasn’t started just yet, but I believe we’re in for a very big treat!

14. Tell us about a day in your life.

Oh man! There’s nothing more boring than an author’s life! Writing about exiting events means sitting in a stationary position for most of the day. Maybe it’s just me. I know other authors claim to have exciting lives. Stephen King plays in a rock band, doesn’t he? Really I think they just make this stuff up so no one discovers the boring truth. Basically I create butt dents in various chairs around the house all day until Andreas comes home. Then I become Suzy Homemaker, but it’s all good. I love my life.

 

15. What advice would you give a gay teenager who is wanting to come out?

Do it! Maybe your parents will hate you and everyone at school will point and laugh. So what? Life is full of ups and downs no matter what you do. You can be miserable in the closet worrying about what everyone might think, or you can be miserable out of the closet and have everyone judge you for the truth. Of course there’s always the chance that some of your friends and family will be cool, and that you’ll meet that person you’re dreaming of, but none of that’s going to happen while you’re hiding away.

 

16. Tell us about your experience at the Lambda Literary Awards and how it felt to win an award for Gay Romance?

Ask me again next year! I can tell you it felt great to be a finalist, but Something Like Summer didn’t take the prize. I honestly wasn’t sure how I’d feel about not winning until it happened, but I was okay with it. I got to meet other authors, which is a rare thing for such a solitary career. And I had a wonderful time in New York with Andreas. I’d do it all again in a heartbeat.

 

17. How do you define sexy?

I always say that hot guys are a dime a dozen. For me, sexy has very little to do with the physical. I like a guy that’s intelligent, but he doesn’t have to quote Shakespeare. In fact, I’d prefer he didn’t. A curious mind is definitely hot, no matter the choice of subject. A sense of humor is crucial, especially when the tide is high. Mostly I admire someone who isn’t ashamed to be their own person, no matter what that might be.

 

18. What is your attitude towards bullying and what do you think should be done about it?

I was bullied pretty bad for a couple of years in school, and before that, I did some bullying myself. I’ve experienced both sides of the coin, and I think the best strategy is to call them out. Make them go to the front of class and explain why they pick on someone smaller or different than them. Bring their parents in. Ask them why they raised a bully. If it keeps happening, put them in a segmented class or school, because not only is education being interfered with, but kids are killing themselves rather than facing more humiliation. Really it’s the people that bully who should be embarrassed. The more parents and teachers can attach a social stigma to such behavior, the less anyone will want to be known as a bully. The reasons behind bullying and how to deal with it definitely need to be a regular part of the class curriculum. Teach kids how to cope, because there are plenty more bullies in the adult work environment.

 

19. What would you like to have accomplished in the next five years?

I’d like to try a few more genres. Right now I bounce back and forth between fantasy and romance, so I’d like to challenge myself by trying something new. Eventually I’d like to write for television. Not regularly, I don’t think, but an episode or two of something would make for an interesting experience.

 

20. What are your three simple luxuries?

Time would be the biggest one. The great thing about writing for a living is the schedule. I work days, evenings and weekends sometimes, but I can also choose not to do anything at all. That freedom is wonderful, and I never take it for granted.

 

Living in Germany is a huge luxury in many ways, especially when it comes to travel. Visiting other European countries is like driving one state over in the US, so I’ve been able to see some amazing places. The quality of life here is exceptional too.

 

Finally, my action figure collection is my super big happy time. They’re toys, they’re simple, and they have nothing to do with staring at an electric screen. My little plastic people are characters made physical, and they often spark my imagination. Mostly I’m just a big kid who revels in not having to ask mom for all the awesome toys I want. … Yeah, I know. Hopelessly uncool.

For more information on Jay Bell and his books visit his website and blog HERE!

 

Be Yourself.  Be Fearless.  Be Your Own Unexpected Luxury!

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Austin Kleon…The Artist Magician!

Austin Kleon is a magician.  Well…not really. Actually, he’s a writer who draws.  The magic is found in between the words he weaves together in simple perfection.  As soon as we picked up his book, Steal Like An Artist, it was almost as if the passion from his fingertips left his hand and electrically transferred into our creative minds.  His suggestions were so inspiring and authentic that we instantly wanted to rearrange our entire lives and push full throttle into our creative dreams.  In that way, Austin Kleon is a magician; a performance artist inspiring creativity where it might otherwise be unseen.  After having read Steal Like An Artist and his first book, Newspaper Blackout, we were excited to interview Austin and find out his deeper thoughts on writing, living and laughing.  We were not surprised to find his responses so authentic that they spoke almost like the quotes from his books…

1. Define yourself using six words.

I am a writer who draws.

 

2. Tell us about Newspaper Blackout.

Newspaper Blackout is a poetry collection made by redacting newspaper articles with a permanent marker. (Imagine the CIA doing haiku.) 

 

3. Tell us about your book Steal Like an Artist.

Steal Like An Artist started out as a talk I gave at a community college — it was a simple list of 10 things I wish I’d heard when I was first getting started. The basic idea of the book is that all creative work builds on what came before — nothing is completely original — and the way to be more creative isn’t to run away from influence, but to run towards it. 

 

4. What are your three favorite books?

Ack, what a question — one I find impossible to answer. Instead, I’ll give you my 3 favorite books I’ve read this summer:

– Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? by Philip K. Dick

– The Art of Money Getting by P.T. Barnum

– On Solitude by Michel de Montaigne

Also: Some novels I love and books I foist on people.

 

5. What would be the theme song for your life?

Oh, that’s easy: Elvis Costello’s “Everyday I Write The Book.”

 

6. When you’re writing, what, if any are rituals you do?

I have an “analog” desk in my office — no electronics are allowed on it, and that’s where most of my writing starts, in longhand.

When I’m on deadline and I have to crank something out, I try to pick the most meat-headed loud rock and roll I can and punish myself by blasting it until I’ve finished — Soundgarden is really good for this.

 

7. Of all of your quotes, do you have a favorite?

“You are a mashup of what you let into your life” pretty much sums up my POV.

 

8. What advice would you give to a writer who wants to get published?

Forget it. Forget being published. Write what you like and find a community of people online that you can share your work with.

 

9. What are 3 essentials to being a writer?

I have a favorite New Yorker cartoon where a girl is sitting in a window writing a letter to her parents: “Dear Mom and Dad: Thanks for the happy childhood. You’ve destroyed any chance I had of becoming a writer.”

1. You have to read a lot.

2. You have to write a lot.

3. You have to really like doing number 1 and number 2.

 

10. Tell us about how you incorporate drawing in your live events.

When I’m giving talks, a lot of times I’ll draw the ideas out for the audience — way better than a slide show.  

 

11. Having lived in both, what are the main differences between Ohio and Texas?

Texas is a hell of a lot hotter.

 

12. How do you measure success?

I take it day by day, and I have low standards. If I took my dog for a walk, made my wife laugh, and made something, it was a good day.

 

13. Of the 10 things you write about in Steal Like an Artist, which do you think is the most important?

8. Be nice. (The world is a small town.)

The world doesn’t necessarily need more creative artists — it need more decent human beings.

 

14. What are 3 things no one ever told you about being an artist?

Other than the 10 things in my book? Hmmm…

1. “Authenticity” is a marketing term.

2. You will benefit tremendously from a solid knowledge of sales and showmanship.

3. It doesn’t get any easier.

 

15. What are your three simple luxuries?

My piano.

My library.

Each person who lives in my house has access to 1.5 toilets at all times.

 

Check out Austin Kleon’s website for information about his books, blog and speaking engagements!

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Davey Wavey: Naked and Raw; Living His Life By Example!

We love, love, love Davey Wavey.  (Hey, did we mention how much we love this guy?) For the past several years, we’ve watched his YouTube videos and laughed and cried along with him as he’s risen to stardom via the internet.  But what is it about him that makes him so approachable and so damn irresistible? Maybe it’s his absolute raw honesty which is evident in every one of his videos.  Maybe it’s the fact that he can barely keep any clothes on for longer than five minutes.  Most likely it’s because he possesses that certain magic called

which only a rare few people have and the rest of us are drawn to like moths to the flame.  Davey exudes confidence because he makes no excuses.  He doesn’t drink or do drugs.  He talks openly about sex.  He can’t stand gossipy people who pass judgement on others.  And he believes we should all live by example.  Davey Wavey doesn’t just talk the talk.  He is the walk…

When we were given the opportunity to interview him, we didn’t really know what to expect.  We’ve learned that quite a few performers are much different in person than they are in their medium.  After an hour of chatting it up with Davey we realized he’s just as genuine and sincere as he is in his videos, laughing almost the entire way through the interview and adding bits of comic relief along the way.  He’s determined.  He’s passionate.  He’s even a little bit innocent, which strangely enough, is his biggest piece of charm.  We started the interview with 10 scribbled questions, but as we continued we kept asking more and more questions, intrigued by his responses, and the whole thing just felt like a conversation you’d have with one of your best friends.

Define yourself using only four words.  

Irreverent.  Creative.  Goofy.  Dirty. 

What is the irreverent part of you?

I think that one of the great things about YouTube is that it’s really just you speaking your voice saying what you want to say so there’s not really anyone that’s kind of supervising what’s going on.  I get to say things that come to my mind and sometimes those things fly a little bit in the face of conventionalism or society in general, but I think that’s one of the wonderful things about working with the medium of YouTube.

What’s the dirty side of you?

Well, have you seen my videos? Yeah, that should be pretty clear. (laughs). I’m 29 and I think I’m already well on my way to being a dirty, old man.  Even in my 20’s.  I definitely have a little bit of sexual deviant or perversion in me.  But, who doesn’t?  I just think I’m a little bit more honest than most about it. 

Why did you start your Break the Illusion website?

I started my website as a personal blog years and years and years ago.  It was supposed to just be a journal.  I never really intended for anyone to read it or for anyone to follow along.  I just thought it would be cool to look back on it in 10 years or 20 years and see what I was doing or what was important in my life.  But low and behold, once I started making videos, people started following along and I’m happy to have them along the adventure.

How did you start making YouTube videos?

I was just doing it for fun and I thought since I was doing my blog it would be a great way to accompany some of the text to see what I was doing with my life.  So I just started recording them.  It wasn’t actually until July 30th, 2007 when I caught my neighbor masturbating, and did a video about that, when people really started discovering my videos.  That video went viral and then people started subscribing to my channel.  And the rest is history. 

What was your very first video that you ever made?

I did a video about a book I was reading called Power vs. Force.  Actually, my very first video was right before I was moving to Toronto from Washington D.C.  I had just gotten my webcam and I was really excited to try it out and I made this video of my apartment before I left and that’s what started it.

How many views did that first video receive?

Probably only one.  (laughs)  I think I was the only one watching it.  Yeah, no one cared.(Just for the record, we looked and it has over 25,000 views now!)

What do you think initially made you successful on YouTube and what do you think has kept you successful?

A lot of people would say it’s because I do my videos shirtless but I think a good set of tits is a dime a dozen on the internet.  If people want to see boobs and people want to see cock, there’s plenty of that on the internet.  I don’t think my being shirtless is going to get people to keep coming back week after week.  I think the skin might pull them in but ultimately it’s the message that’s going to keep people and I think my message is something that resonates with my audience.  I also think my videos come across as very authentic.  It’s really just me being myself and I think people find that refreshing. 

Why do you not wear a shirt in your videos?

It started because when I began doing my videos I was just recording in my apartment and I never wear clothes. I’m not wearing clothes now.  I’m almost always in a state of undress. People are actually surprised when they meet me and I’m wearing clothes.  

Are you completely naked right now?

(Laughs) No, I’m in my underwear. It’s just more comfortable for me to not be in clothes.  We’re born naked so I think the real question isn’t why am I shirtless but why do other people feel the need to put one on? (Laughs) There’s a little sass for you. 

Yeah, we like that.

I thought you would. (Laughs)

What is your schedule during a typical day?

It’s amazing because people watch the videos but they don’t realize how much goes into it or how much there is on the back end, but this is my full time job.  I have an assistant who helps me every day.   It’s actually a lot of work.  There’s a lot of administrative stuff that goes on that’s not really super exciting.  Like balancing checkbooks and talking to my entertainment attorney for contracts and stuff that’s really not my world.   Answering emails or working with my assistant.  Working on video ideas and concepts.  I also have to edit all of the videos.  I do 2-3 videos a week.  I probably put in creatively 50-60 hours a week. It’s more work now than I’ve ever done at any other job but it’s never felt like work to me because it’s so much fun. 

What’s your workout schedule?

I go to the gym six days a week for an hour and a half.  For a lot of people I guess it’s not  considered a considerable gym commitment but when I go it’s a really intense workout.  I do a lot of high intensity interval training as well as free weights.  I do the kind of time tested, tried and true exercises and workouts that have worked for decades and continue to work.  Nothing fancy, just very traditional, good-solid workout routines. 

What are your three favorite videos that you’ve made?

My favorite video that I’ve made is the 250 Balloons to Remember the Fallen…That’s a video I did to commemorate the victims of LGBT suicides.  That’s my number one.  My number two is probably my most recent video.  I always love my most recent video.  It’s always what I’m working on right now.  The video I’m working on this week is to celebrate the five year anniversary of the masturbating neighbor.  And then I also like the video I did of me coming out to my grandmother on the phone. 

Who are your three favorite YouTubers to watch?

Ok, here’s what’s funny.  I don’t really watch YouTube videos.  I don’t have a lot of free time and when I do have free time I don’t want to spend it in front of the computer, especially on YouTube when that’s so much of what I do for work.  If there was a topic that I thought was super relevant to me I might watch it, but I also think my not watching other people’s videos kind of keeps my stuff fresh.  It’s not really shaped by what other people are doing. 

How do you spend your free time?

Filming my masturbating neighbor. (Laughs)

Do you really have a new masturbating neighbor?

No, unfortunately. How do I spend my free time?  Well, yesterday I went to a friend’s house and we hung out by the pool.  I came back and I took a bubble bath and went out to dinner with a friend.  I’m very relaxed and chill.  I’m kind of introverted and quiet.  Typically I’ll read my book or paint.  I don’t think it’s as exciting as people might think it is based on the content of my videos. Purely I’m a basic bitch. 

What does your family think about your videos?

My mom discovered my YouTube channel several years ago and at first she was uncomfortable hearing her son talking about the things I talk about in my videos.  Initially she didn’t like the comments people wrote.  The moment that my mom actually got it was when we were in Provincetown and I was filming the video about coming out advice and this young man named George came up to us and started talking to us.  He had been kicked out of his home and his parents had disowned him and he was telling me how much my videos had meant to him and how they had helped him get through that time.  I looked over at my mom and there were tears streaming down her face.  I think it was really the first time that she got it; that its more than just me being shirtless.  For some people my videos can be a source of inspiration or strength.  Once that clicked with her she got better with it.  But I’m still a little uncomfortable with her watching some of the videos. 

Do you have a relationship with your dad?

I do.  Yeah, he gets it more than my mom does.  He’s really supportive.  He’s really fantastic.  He’s like a PFLAG dad.  He loves telling everyone about his gay son.  If anyone says anything derogatory he’s the first one to stand up for me.  He’s my biggest advocate. 

How did you friendship with Haley Star begin?

Haley Star and I went to an all boy’s Catholic high school together. 

Oh my!

Yeah…Sister Mary Anne Francis or whatever would be really proud today, I’m sure.  We had been friends for a long time.  We kind of fell out of touch in college as we were in different states.  We reconnected and she was a popular drag queen in Providence, which is near where I live in Rhode Island.  I was like, “Haley, you need to be in my videos.”  So we did a video together and everyone loved her so much that I really pushed her to do her own YouTube channel, which she did and now I think she has like 10,000 subscribers.  She’s fantastic.  What I love about her is that she’s a drag queen but she’s a drag queen with a message.  She’s not catty and bitchy.  She’s really just out to make the world a more loving place and I appreciate her deeply for that. 

Can you talk about the Life Ball in Vienna and why it was important for you to go?

Yeah, it’s Europe’s biggest HIV/AIDS fundraiser.  A lot of people in the United States don’t even know that the Life Ball happens and that’s why they really wanted us to go over there so we could let more people in the United States know about this event.  It’s a huge fundraiser, but it’s also a lot of fun.  It’s really over the top.  There was a runway show by Italian Vogue and I got to close the Jean-Paul Gaultier collection.  All 5’8 of me! It was really cool. There were so many creative people and it was so counter cultural.  It gave you the permission to be the person you wanted to be and not give a fuck.  I even walked the red carpet in my Speedo!

Are there any topics that are off the record to talk about in your videos?

Oh my gosh, no.  (Laughs)  Right now, for example, I’m in the process of doing a video called “It’s a bad day to bottom”.  There’s nothing that’s too sacred or too squeamish.  I’ve done videos about anal douching and penis docking.  My comfort level is pretty high.

What are the three best opportunities that have come as a result of making YouTube videos?

The best opportunity is that I have a really good platform to share what I do.  The videos I make I get to share with hundreds of thousands of people around the world and that’s an amazing gift and an amazing opportunity.  It’s also cool to travel and go see places I wouldn’t normally be able to see.  I was just in Thailand and climbed a volcano in Hawaii.  These are things that I wouldn’t have normally had the opportunity to do if it wasn’t for YouTube. I’m thankful every day that I get to do this for my job.

Do you ever get any hate mail and if so how does it make you feel and how do you respond?

I do get a lot of nasty emails and a lot of nasty comments but I also get a lot of positive and beautiful feedback, so I see both sides.  I think the thing that I’ve learned is to not measure myself by the good things people say and not to measure myself by the bad things people say.  What other people think of me is none of my business.

Can you explain why you choose not to drink or use drugs?

I don’t drink because when I was really young my grandfather made me promise him that I wouldn’t.  His father was an alcoholic and his father was very abusive so my grandfather made the decision not to drink.  I think he was afraid that genetically it would be passed down to me so he asked me to make the same decision.  And so I did.  I was really young at the time and I didn’t really know what it meant, but I’ve stayed true to it and I’ve never had a sip of alcohol.  I think maybe when I was like 2 or 3 I sipped my father’s beer, I’m sure.  But ever since making the promise to my grandfather I’ve never had a sip.  And I don’t do drugs either.  My only vice is sex.  I’m pretty boring.

What do you think about the effects that drugs and alcohol have had on the gay community?

It’s part of the reason why my idea for a fun night is staying at home, taking a bubble bath and relaxing.  It’s not always fun to be in those situations especially when you’re sober. But I try to go and make the best of it and realize that just because other people make those decisions doesn’t mean I have to make the same decisions.

Are you currently in a relationship?

Nope.  I’m single.

What’s something you look for in a partner?

Are we taking applications?

Sure. If you want.

Yes, Please send them to my email please.  (Laughs)

Are there certain issues that would be deal breakers for you dating someone?

Yeah.  What really turns me off very quickly is someone who is judgemental and has to make comments about other people.  Or if they’re really snarky and negative about other people.  Like if someone walks by and they have to make a comment about what they’re wearing or the way that they look or the shape of their body. That kind of shit doesn’t really fly in my book.  It’s a really quick way to turn me off.  I like someone who is confident and has an open mind.  I need to be attracted to the person as well, but those are typically the things I look for because in a relationship it’s the less physical stuff that comes first for me. 

Based on your videos, you seem like a really sexual person.  How sexual are you really?

I wish I had a tenth of the sex that people think I have.  The reality is I live in Rhode Island.  There’s not exactly a sea of gay people out here.  I don’t really think I’m any more sexual than anyone else, I just think I’m more open about it.  I think it’s a human thing to be a sexual being. 

Do you watch a lot of porn?

I would say I look at less and less porn as I get more and more busy with my work.  That’s kind of like a downtime thing.  I think I would look at more porn and prioritize it if there was porn that really spoke to me.  I really don’t like the cookie cutter porn like Sean Cody or Corbin Fisher.  It doesn’t do much for me.  In my opinion sex is a really creative and dynamic thing.  When you look at the mainstream porn that we have it’s reduced to the following equation.  Two guys who generally look the same.  I can picture them right now.  Two white guys in their 20’s with muscles walk into a room.  One shirt comes off, the other shirt comes off and they kiss.  Pants come off, one blows one, the other one blows the other and they move onto the bed.  They eat each other out and then one fucks the other one.  They both cum, smile and laugh.  End credits.  That does not do justice for me for what the act of lovemaking should be.  I need sex to be more creative.

Tell us three things that we wouldn’t know by looking at you?

I was a cheerleader in college.  I’m usually asleep by 10pm.  And secretly I’m an artist.  I love to paint.

What would be a book you would suggest to a stranger?

Deepak Chopra’s Seven Spiritual Laws of Success. Love it!

What is a movie that you could watch over and over again?

Magic Mike.  Well, really only 2 minutes of it.  The part where Channing Tatum is doing his thing on stage.  Mmmm. Girl. Give me some of that! Otherwise though, I really like the movie Short Bus.

Do you watch any television shows consistently?

Yeah.  I’m big on MythBusters on the Discovery Channel.  I also like Fact or Fate on the SciFi Channel. 

If you could only listen to one song for the rest of your life, what would it be?

I’m not that big into music.  I’d rather listen to silence.

How do you define SEXY?

I like that quote by Sophia Loren.  “Sex appeal is fifty percent what you’ve got and fifty percent what people think you’ve got.”

What is the sexiest city?

Sydney, Australia.  Oh my God.  Go to the gym Fitness First and spend five minutes in the locker room.  There are not words to describe what that is like.

What is the sexiest club?

I haven’t really been to very many.  I wouldn’t know. 

Let’s play murder, marry, fuck.

Wait, isn’t it chuck, marry, fuck?

What’s chuck?

A nicer way of saying murder but you don’t have to hurt anyone.

Ok, Davey.  For you, we’ll change the game.  Chuck, marry fuck? Pierre Fitch, Chris Crocker or Neil Patrick Harris?

I would marry Neil Patrick Harris.  I would fuck Pierre Fitch.  So I guess chuck Chris Crocker, but just by elimination. Nothing personal.

Ok, the same game for Daniel Craig,  Ryan Gosling and Taylor Lautner. 

I’d fuck Taylor Lautner.  Marry Ryan Gosling and I guess chuck Daniel Craig.

What is the biggest misconception people have about you?

I get a lot of comments where people accuse me of being a trust fund baby and that this isn’t a real job.  But the reality is that this is very much a full time job and everything that has happened has been very real.  People don’t realize the work that goes into what I do.  Obviously some luck and serendipity was at play, but a lot of hard work, sweat, tears and blood got me where I’m at today.  I’m not freeloading off of someone and I never really have.  This is just my way of doing something I love that I feel contributes positively to the world.  And I don’t think it gets any better than that.  When I was in high school my parents sat me down and explained that they hadn’t set any money aside for me for college and when it came to finances I would have to get scholarships.  So I worked really hard and went to college for free with a scholarship.  Nothing that I have was given to me. 

Would you ever do porn and are there any amateur videos of Davey Wavey out there?

I have nothing against doing porn, but I don’t think I would do it because of the way that other people unfortunately view porn.  I think a lot of times if you do it you’re not taken very seriously or you’re seen as unmarketable in a lot of ways which is really unfair.  But I think it closes a lot of doors for you so I wouldn’t do porn.  And I’m sure there’s a video or two floating around out there.

Do you use any of the products you talk about in your videos?

Oh yeah.  I use all of the lubes I talk about.  I’m on Grindr and other apps like that.   People are often surprised and don’t think it’s really me when they see my picture on there so they block me and say I’m an imposter. (Laughs) If I’m talking about something in my videos it’s a result of my personal experience. 

What is the single most important issue of the LGBT community today?

We all just need to be a little bit more kind to one another.  I think it’s interesting that gay people are so quick to call people out for bullying but then we turn around and do the exact same thing to each other.  It’s sad to me that we’re not holding ourselves to a higher standard.  I think we need to live our lives by example.

What advice would you give to someone who wants to come out, no matter their age?

Take your time.  Make sure your surround yourself with a really good group of supportive friends.

What is your favorite brand of underwear?

Aussie Bum. 

What are your three simple luxuries?

Fresh berries, silicone based lube and MacBook Pro with Retina Display.

Thanks buddy, it was good talking to you!

Yep…anytime!

Be Yourself.  Be Fearless.  Be Your Own Unexpected Luxury!

Check out all of Davey Wavey’s Videos and Blog Links at his YouTube Channel HERE

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Sander van Doorn…THE Interview! Inside the Mind of an EDM Genius!

Sander van Doorn has been one of our top favorite DJ’s for quite some time, so it was no surprise to us when he was nominated for DJ Magazine’s Top 100 DJ’s of 2012. The man is an electronic phenomenon transcending dance music into a new era. Hailing from Holland, Sander has collaborated with some of the greatest names in the music industry and also has his own radio show called Identity.(All links can be found on his website at Sander van Doorn.com)Having played almost every major electronic dance music festival in the last few years, Sander van Doorn is at the top of his game.  We were lucky enough to grab him from his busy schedule and find out a little bit more about the man behind the genius!

1. Introduce us to Sander van Doorn in 6 words or less.

Music producer and DJ from Holland.

 

2. What are three things we wouldn’t know by looking at you?

That I am thinking about the studio or a new track idea.

 

3. How did you get into producing music? EDM music?

Same as most, I went out and experienced it as a clubber. It hooks you pretty quickly.

 

4. What’s your favorite thing about the current genre of music you’re producing?

I don’t really have a genre I wouldn’t say. I just write and what comes out is my own style. I love the high octane energy of some of the new tracks and songs I have coming out, pretty intense!

 

5. If you had to master another genre, which one would it be and why?

Maybe indie rock.  I play a mad flute. Hehe.

 

6. Many world known DJs use your tracks and production on their singles and remixes. How does it feel to be one of the best?

Great! Always feels nice to be appreciated for what you do in the world.

 

7. Who has been your favorite musical artist you’ve worked with?

Julian Jordan is a great new talent. 16 years old and full of ideas. That’s fun.

 

8. Talk to us about your single “Kangaroo”.  What inspired the lyrics and collaboration?

Lyrics? No lyrics in there just kind of a call to action. This is a collab with Julian Jordan, just happened by us talking and giving it a shot in the studio. Seems to have worked out!

 

9. You have a radio show called Identity, What inspired the show and what should we expect from it?

Just another way for me to connect with fans all over the world. I try to keep it very relevant for listeners and also update them on my whereabouts and any competitions or news.

 

10. Tell us about DJ Magazine’s Search for the Top 100 DJ’s. Are you in the running and who would you like the top 5 DJs to be?

It’s voted on by fans, so I guess it’s up to them if I’m in the running. I haven’t had the chance to be out much so I couldn’t rate a top 5. I really like Showtek’s energy and show and, I haven’t seen him live, but I really like the stuff from Zedd.

 

11. You’re all over the world this summer.  What is your favorite thing about touring?

Getting on stage is my favorite thing about being on tour. I rarely get to see the places I play, but when I can, this is a great aspect too.

 

12. How does the crowd differ from country to country?

 Some are more reserved than others, so I always customize my sets as I watch how they react and interact with what I’m playing.

 

13. When traveling, what are five things you must always have with you?

 iPhone, laptop, a credit card that hasn’t been fraud alerted by my bank, toothbrush, world-wide power adapter

 

14. How do you define sexy? What is the sexiest city? Sexiest hotel? Song to kiss to? Sexiest DJ?

Confidence is sexy. The rest is too subjective because it changes for me all the time.

 

15. What’s next for Sander van Doorn?

New track coming with Julian Jordan, working on new album material, touring

 

Thanks buddy!

 

Be Yourself.  Be Fearless.  Be Your Own Unexpected Luxury!

To vote for Sander van Doorn for DJ Magazine’s Top 100 click HERE!

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Andrew Christian…The Saint of Sexy! The Interview

We have been such huge fans of Andrew Christian for so long that when we had the opportunity to interview him and find out what ticks behind the mind of the biggest name in men’s underwear, we jumped at the chance.  What we found was a well accomplished designer who, besides loving the male form, has paid his dues in the fashion industry and now stands alone as an iconic industry himself.  He’s also been featured on several reality shows including The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency and Bravo’s The Fashion Show, making him one of the most talented and sexiest reality stars of all time.  If his underwear and this interview aren’t proof enough that Andrew Christian is the Saint of Sexy, go to his website and check out his incredibly hot videos as well as his inclusive line of men’s clothing.  Trust us, you won’t be disappointed!

1.  Define yourself using only 7 words.   

Fashionable, shy, friendly, respectful, fun, inquisitive, mysterious.

2.  Although your clothing line has been around for more than 10 years, your men’s underwear and swimwear is what you are most known for creating.  What about your swimwear and underwear puts you above the rest?

Andrew Christian is all about fit! I spend countless hours with my team making sure the fit on my underwear is the best it can be. Underwear is the closest thing to your body so you want to make sure it fits correctly and feels amazing on.  The Almost Naked line is the most popular and I hear it all the time that they are the most comfortable underwear you can own. It’s also one of my personal favorites.

3.  You’ve become an icon in the gay community.  Who are your gay icons?

I am a big fan of John Waters.  I love his edginess and the fact that he  isn’t scared to take chances.

4. You recently did a video on Vimeo for gay pride.  What does gay pride mean to you?

I think it is important to love yourself and therefore since being gay is a part of who I am, then I am proud of it.

http://vimeo.com/43572881

5. What do you look for in a partner?

Honesty, a sense of humor and a nice ass.

6. Can you tell us about your body enhancing underwear and what inspired you to make them?

FlashLIFT is our latest innovation in Butt Lifting and Contouring Technology for those seeking the perfect bubble-butt. I noticed at the gym how hard people worked to try and get the perfect rear end. Doing endless lunges and squats and thought wouldn’t it be great if I could design a pair of underwear that did that automatically without all of the hard work.  After months of experimentation FlashLift was born. It’s you only better.  Show-It Support Technology consisting of a hidden “comfy cup”. This horseshoe shaped inner cup is lined by soft elastic that gently aids in the lifting and support. It doesn’t matter if your package is already ample, you can always be bigger, or just have the appearance of a bigger bulge.  Women have been wearing body enhancing under garments for years.  It just made sense that men should be able to do the same.

7.  What was the very first thing you ever designed?

My life, I believe your life is what you make of it and you can control what enters your life, positive or negative.

8. If you could only listen to 3 CD’s for the rest of your life and they couldn’t be mixed, what would they be?

Madonna “American Life” , Kylie Minoque “Greatest Hits” Nikki Minaj Pink Friday.

9. What is a book you would recommend to a stranger?

The Power, it’s kind of new world and Zen and all that, but it makes a lot of practical sense.

10.How did you get into the fashion industry?

I Started by designing clothes for myself and friends in high school. Eventually I got noticed and recognized enough that I started selling my designs in local boutiques. Actually that’s how I put myself through fashion school. It wasn’t always easy to make ends meet, but I can tell you I sure did have a lot of fun in those early days and wouldn’t trade it in for anything.

11. Who are your 3 favorite male designers?

Karl Lagerfeld b/c he’s so prolific, Alexander McQueen b/c he is revolutionary, and Versace back in the day when Naomi, Linda, and Christy were gracing his runways. It doesn’t get much better than that.

12. What do you think about gay celebrities who refuse to come out of the closet?

Coming out is a personal thing, but I feel as a celebrity they have an opportunity to set a good example for the gay youth population. It’s a shame that they or society in this day in age are still not able to deal with this issue.

13.  What do you think are the 2 biggest issues facing the gay community?

Equal rights will always be a huge issue for the gay community.  I would like to see gay marriage legalized nationally.  The other issue seems to be gay kids getting bullied.  It breaks my heart to hear about the suicides of these young kids.

14. What are your 3 simple luxuries?

1. Eating organically. I believe you get what you put into your body. I can totally feel the difference when I am eating healthy and clean. 2. Fragrance, it makes me feel just a little bit more dapper. It was Coco Chanel who said a woman without fragrance is vulgar. Well not to say a man without fragrance is vulgar, but I think there is something to be said about a well groomed man. 3. Time, it’s the only thing in this world you can’t buy any more of.

15. Tell us about your experience on The Fashion Show.

It was overall a decent experience.  The show was a lot more scripted than I would have expected it to be and of course I wish I would have stayed on longer. I’m just glad America could see what I could really do as a designer and especially designing women’s clothing. I even surprised myself about how well my designs came out. The best was when socialite Tinsley Mortimer said she loved my dress and would wear it out to a party.

16. What’s the secret to becoming an Andrew Christian model?

Workout and don’t eat haha! Seriously though, there has to be a lot said for personality. You can have the hottest guy in the world but if he is not personable, the general public will not identify with him.

17.  What would we have to do to have you make a special, custom designed boys of raannt, matching underwear for marriage equality in honor of our wedding last year?

You should have contacted me before the wedding.  Getting married in Andrew Christian underwear, now that would have been hot.

18.  Where do you find inspiration for your work?

Actually, the male body inspires me.  Therefore, the models are a source of inspiration.

19.  What would be the theme song to your life?

Inner City “Good Life” Such a great and classic uplifting song.

20. Boxers, briefs, jockstraps…or nothing at all?

Depends on my mood, but I have been into briefs lately.

Thanks buddy!

Be Yourself.  Be Fearless. Be Your Own Unexpected Luxury!

 

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Project Runway’s Althea Harper!

We are huge fans of Project Runway.  We’ve watched every season and every episode while rooting for our favorites from the sidelines on our couch.  The premiere of Season 10, the newest installment of the reality show, will air Thursday, July 19th on the Lifetime network.  In the past, our obsession with reality television’s elite fashion show has allowed us to interview famed Project Runway judge Nina Garcia and now we’ve had the honor of interviewing our all-time favorite, Season 6 runner up Althea Harper.  Maybe we love her because she’s a native Midwesterner like ourselves or maybe we love her because she interned for two of our fashion idonl, Alexander McQueen and Vivienne Westwood.  Either way, Althea Harper has proven she’s a powerful force in the fashion industry.  When we met her, we were absolutely blown away.  Although we expected her to be tall, she literally towered, almost like a skyscraper, above everyone else and definitely commanded respect and fascination.  Her soft nature interwoven with her strong opinion made us even bigger fans, wanting to interview her and find out more about what made her so capable of being strong, confident and not afraid to be sexy!

1. Introduce us to Althea Harper: the designer, the everyday women, and the newlywed.

I am a woman’s wear contemporary designer originally from the Midwest but now spend my time alternating between NYC and CT.  I have a strong passion for what I do and I truly believe that what a woman wears dictates how she feels and therefore what she accomplishes.  I am also a newlywed that loves my husband, friends and family!

2. When did you first know you wanted to become a fashion designer?

I have known that I wanted to be a fashion designer since I realized that there was an occupation that allowed you to draw clothes (of course that is about 5% of what I do). I love that you can use both sides of your brain- I can be creative but I also have to understand how to run a business.

3. What are three things we wouldn’t know by looking at you?

Three thing that you wouldn’t know by looking at me is that I LOVE pizza- I could probably eat it for every meal and I crave it all the time- unfortunately I am gluten intolerant and not supposed to eat it but it is my weakness.  I completed in the Junior Olympics for track and field on my AAU track team and I’ve been one of the girls painted in latex at a Playboy party  – that always surprises people but I swear its more coverage then a bikini!

4. As you become more successful as a designer, who are the top three designers you look up to and why?

My best experience was working for Alexander McQueen- not only for his talent but how he treated people.  I admire Zac Posen for the same reason.  I love that Rachel Roy is not only a great designer but also style icon.


5. What kind of woman wears Althea Harper?

Strong, confident and not afraid to be sexy!

6. How do you keep a fresh look in fashion and from where do you pull inspiration?

I pull inspiration from anything- I never know what is going to inspire me the next season. Staying fresh is following your creativity and being aware of trends but not living by them.

7. Season 6 of Project Runway seems so long ago. Tell us about your day to day experience of what the show and the competition were like?

The show was very intense and it was 7 days a week 24 hours a day.  We really didn’t get any time off.  We also usually slept less then 5 hours a night. It really was sewing and designing all day long. The days we had eliminations could also go till 2am.

8. Out of all the contestants on that season, who do you still keep in touch with?

I love Ra’mon and Christopher is very supportive.  I keep in touch with Malvin as well and run into Carol Hannah and Nicholas in NYC.


9. Tim Gunn seems, in the show, to be a great mentor for the designers. How much time do you guys actually spend with him and how helpful is he?

We spent a fair amount of time with him and he was a great mentor.  He kept the competition real, and reminded my of a professor.

10. The competition seems to become tougher and tougher each season.  What is something that you think the judges look for in a designer?

The ability to not only design but understand how to construct a garment, stay in trend while still being different and of course it takes a certain type of person who can handle being filmed all the time.

11. We would love to see you on the screen again! Any TV projects in the works? 

There are a few.  Can’t give any details though due to contract restrictions…so boring I know!

12.  The new season of Project Run way is about to start – what piece of advice would you give to these new designers? 

Stay confident!!  You might not agree with all the judges decisions or have the support you want from the fellow designers but it is important to stay true to yourself!

 13. How do you define sexy?

Confidence

14. What do you believe is the sexiest city in the world? Sexiest hotel? Sexiest club? Sexiest designer? 

Sexiest city- Ibiza

Sexiest hotel- The Standard Miami 

Sexiest club- XS in Vegas

Sexiest designer – me and Tom Ford

15. In the celebrity world, who would your ideal “muse” be and why?

Penelope Cruz- she is everything! Smart, gorgeous, sexy and talented!

16. For all the brides to be, what are the top 3 dos and don’ts when preparing for your wedding?

1- have no regrets- if u want a low bust line on your dress but are worried what your grandma might think- just do it! ( as long as its not TOO low)! You want to look you best and feel your best do do whatever will make u feel that way – even if it’s not traditional.  I think regret is the worst feeling and the last you want to associate with your wedding day.

2- don’t sweat the small stuff- as long as there is a open bar and a DJ the rest will all just be a bonus! People remember the great time that they had- not the detail of the china.

3- have as many bridesmaids as you want! I had 13!! But they were all special to me and I wouldn’t go back and change a thing- I love that they were all part of my day!!

17. How do you define style and how would someone find or exhibit their own sense of style?

Style is not something you can copy from a magazine- but a feeling and look of how you put all your pieces together. It’s a very individualized thing.

18. When you travel, what are five items you must have with you at all times?

Phone

Sketch book and pencils 

Good book

Moisture spray for my skin

A gossip mag (my weakness)

19. To all of the guys and girls, young or old, who dream of being a fashion designer…what is your best piece of advice?

It’s not an easy road but with enough passion you can get through anything!

20. What are three of your simple luxuries? 

A great eye cream and moisturizer, my Apple products, and a high quality (ie designer, quality leather, etc) over sized purse. 

Be Yourself.  Be Fearless.  Be Your Own Unexpected Luxury.

Check in with us every week for our review of Project Runway!

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Happy Birthday Davey Wavey! And Thanks for the Interview!

Earlier this week, we chatted it up with YouTube sensation Davey Wavey.  We had planned to upload the interview today in celebration of Davey’s 29th birthday, unfortunately, the phone we taped the interview on has died and we won’t be able to translate the interview until tomorrow.  Needless to say…it’s a hot one! Find out why he defines himself as irreverent, creative, goofy and dirty…and why he considers Sydney, Australia(especially a certain gym locker room) to be the sexiest city in the world!

In the meantime, we’d like to send out our birthday wishes and hope he has an amazing day! Check out our other interviews with YouTube stars Glozell, Will and RJ(Shep689), Tyler Oakley, Gregory Gorgeous, JohnnyBoy and John Salomone(dudeneedaeaseonup).

Be Yourself.  Be Fearless.  Be Your Own Unexpected Luxury!

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