Category: Comedians

When reading this random tweet on Twitter “I’ve been at the little league field with back to back games since 10:30 AM & still here-happy Mother’s day 2 me!”, you might not realize those are the words of one of the funniest women in the country. Closer examination brings us into the world of Heather McDonald. Besides writing, producing and starring as a regular “round table” comedienne on the award winning television show Chelsea Lately, she is also on a running tour of performances around the country, presenting her stand-up routine to sold out crowds. Not bad for a wife and mother of three who consistently channels the voices of Sarah Palin, Drew Barrymore, Celine Dion or our favorite, Geri Jewel from The Facts of Life. Every night, we literally wait for the moment when something Heather randomly quips makes even Chelsea Handler laugh and lose her train of thought; a talent which she has perfected well! And while we continue to wait, reading her new national bestseller You’ll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again, we thought we’d reach out and find a little bit more about the funny girl next door under the Amy Winehouse wig…and in front of the Kardashian butt!

1. How would your define yourself using 10 words or less?
A tall hot hilarious brunette married mother of 3!

2. If you weren’t a comedienne, what would you be doing?
Selling residential real estate because I’ve done that on and off for almost 20 years.

3. A teenager comes to you and tells you they want to be a comedienne. What advice would you give them to help them be successful?
I would first say only be a comedienne if people tell you are funny. If they do and you love when you’re telling a story and people are laughing start to write every funny thing you say and think down. Then look into taking improvisation or stand up comedy classes and get up there and do it.

4. You’re a regular member of the Chelsea Lately round table. How do you typically prepare for each show and how do you keep your material fresh?
First I think of what is my point of view and make sure it is different than Chelsea’s then I type a few jokes down for each topic. As I’m getting my hair and make up done I go over them with my make up artist and based on what she laughs at. I choose to say those jokes first.

5. What would we, the boys of raannt, have to do; bribe, threaten, strip, screw…to get on the round table? How is it decided who is a new member?
It is very rare that we have anyone new on because Chelsea really likes having regulars on because of the relationships and chemistry we have with each other. But I would say keep doing what you are doing.

6. Where did the “Heather Long Boobs McDonald” nickname come from?
I was wearing a low cut dress in a sketch and Chelsea called me Long Boobs and it got such a big laugh she kept saying it and caught on. I do not have long boobs.

7. What’s your favorite thing about being on the round table?
Being myself and getting my hair and make up done.

8 You recently released your book “You’ll Never Blue Ball in this Town Again.” Tell us about your book.
It is about all the guys I did not have sex with in LA during the 90s. The main reason being I was virgin until I was 27.
There are a lot of very embarrassing funny dating stories.

9. What is your favorite and least favorite book you have ever read?
Besides Chelsea’s books my other favorite book was Mackenzie’s Phillips autobiography about how she was having a consensual sexual relationship with her father in her 20s for over 10 years. I mean it doesn’t get more juicy than that.

10. Since you’re now a New York Times Bestseller List honoree, what would be two other awards you would like to earn?
I would like to get an Emmy for playing a mom in a hit sitcom and I’d like an Oscar for best supporting actress because comediennes only win Oscars if they are for supporting roles never for best actress.

11. You worked closely with the Kardashians in this book. What was their role in it and how was your experience working with them?
I did not work with them. They are just my friends who loved the book and gave me a quote for the back. However, I’d love to work with them one day designing clothes for flat butts for girls like me.

12. Who are your two favorite celebrities to impersonate. Who have you wanted to impersonate but found too difficult?
My two favorites are Drew Barrymore and Celine Dion. Everyone thinks I do Cher and I can but only when she sings not when she talks.


13. You have been married for over 10 years. What is the secret to a successful marriage?
I got married in the Catholic church and therefore made a promise to God. I plan on going to heaven so therefore I’ve stayed married. No seriously, we do stuff on our own away from our kids and we never let any fight last too long.

14 The bio on your website states you “reside in the San Fernando Valley next door to her parents just in case they run out of milk, Chardonnay or need one of her dad’s Vicodin.” Which one happens most often?
I run out of Chardonnay a lot but my always has a chilled bottle waiting and she loves to drink it with me.

15. Name the sexiest city? Hotel? Movie? Place to kiss? Place to get drunk?
The sexiest city is Cabo. Movie is Unfaithful, Kiss is in the rain (I’ve yet to do that) get drunk in any pool.

16. Let’s play fuck, marry, kill. Chelsea, Chuy and Brad Wollack?
I’d fuck Chelsea because she’s completely bare down there so it wouldn’t be too bad. I’d marry Brad because his parents have their winery and I’d have to kill Chuy, sorry.

17. Give us quick thoughts on the following: Jenna Jameson, the death of Osama Bin Laden, Amy Fisher’s porn career and gay marriage.
Jenna: Amazing mother of twin boys, Osama: I’m having sexual fantasies about the Navy Seal who shot him, Gay Marriage: I want it to be legal everywhere also I love weddings and feel I have a lot of gay invites in my future.

18. If you were going to start your own line of Heather McDonald Chardonnay, since you’re such a huge fan, what would it be called and what would make it so special? How much would you charge?
It would be called Impressions because I do a lot of impressions and it will make an impression at your table. It’s special because it’s buttery. I would charge around 11 dollars.

19. What would you like to be doing in 10 years?
Being on television even more either as myself or playing a comedic role in a funny show.

20. What do you find sexy on a man: boxers, briefs, jockstrap, or nothing at all?
I find boxers sexy because I like the excitement that it might slip out at any moment.

For more information on Heather McDonald, her New York Times bestselling book or her tour dates, contact her website!

Be Yourself.  Be Fearless.  Be Your Own Unexpected Luxury!

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*Photographs thanks to Heather McDonald and Eva Magdalenski and Alex Spieller of Anderson Group Public Relations

WARNING: We allow 100 words or less of content per interview to be taken, with a link to our original interview, and used without our authorization. Content larger than 100 words or copying our entire interview without our authorization to be used in ANY manner will result in our taking legal action per copyright infringement.

We first saw Sarah Colonna in her early days as a guest member of the roundtable on Chelsea Lately.  Her quick quips and short andecdotes had us begging to know more about her and find out how this woman of subtle humor found her spot on the cherished roundtable of Chelsea Lately.

Sarah got her start as a stand-up comedienne finding success as a semi-finalist on Last Comic Standing and the BBC’s The World Stands Up.  Since that time, she has appeared on television shows such as Monk and United States of Tara and is now a regular roundtable member on Chelsea Lately as well as producer and star on E’s After Lately.  Her first book, Life as I Blow It, was released earlier this month and has already made the top 20 on The New York Times Bestsellers List.  (An excerpt can be found, plus her current tour dates, on her website HERE.) We had such an amazing time doing this interview and became even bigger fans in the process! Instead of writing some lengthy introduction, we’ll let Sarah speak for herself…something she seems to do with hilarious ease.

1. Introduce us to Sarah Colonna in 15 words or less.
Three people that I have had sex with have died, later-not from the sex.

2. What makes someone funny?
I think it’s just a natural instinct.  Plus what makes one person laugh doesn’t always make another person laugh, so it’s kind of subjective.  The exception is when someone falls down, which is always funny.

3. Who are the three funniest people you know and why?
Chelsea Handler, because she is honest, smart, and quick on her feet.  She’s also my boss, so I’m not going to leave her out…but in all honesty, she’s one of the funniest people I know.  Chris Franjola, because he can make fun of something terrible in your life right to your face and make you laugh about it.  And my mom, because she doesn’t realize how funny she is.

4. Tell us about your book, Life as I Blow It, which is out now!
I grew up in a small town in the South, which is full of great material.  Then I moved to LA when I was 21, which is also full of great material…stumbles, failed attempts at jobs and love, all that stuff.  My parents divorced when I was young and my dad lived in California most of my life and has been married- um, several times.  My mom is much more traditional so I had these two very different paths in front of me and found myself cofused about which one to take.  At the end of the day it’s about a struggle to grow up when you’re already supposed to be grown up.  But it’s funny, I promise! I think a lot of people relate to that struggle.

 5. Which chapter is your favorite and why?
I think my favorite chapter might be “Trundle Beds and Masturbators.”  It takes place right after I move to LA and my first apartment, roommate, etc.  It reminds me of what it was like when I first got here.  The good and the bad.  It’s also got a story in it that was difficult to write, but made me reflect fondly on the time I got to spend with the person that story is about.  I’m not meaning to be cryptic,  I just don’t want to give away what it is, of course!

6. If you were to write a follow up book: what would this next book be about and why?
That’s such a good question.  And one my book agent would love for me to have an answer to, ha.  I don’t know exactly, there are definitely stories I didn’t get to tell in the first one, but I do feel like I’ve covered so much of my life in “Life As I Blow It,” that the next one can’t go back through it.  I’m 37, I’m single, I’m seeing a lot of things change in my life and even in the people around me-maybe something from all of that will spark the idea for book two!  Or maybe I can finally write my dream fiction novels featuring Detective Lorena Fusilli, FBI.  However thus far nobody involved in the first book is taking me seriously about that.

7. What are three things that go on behind the scenes of The Chelsea Lately Show that most people don’t know?
Nothing!  Chelsea tells everything that goes on, usually while you’re sitting next to her on the round table.  So- you have to watch it at parties and make sure you don’t do anything you don’t want told on TV.

8. What are the three best things about being a comedienne?
The freedom to talk about things going on in your life, vent in a way, while laughing about it.
As cheesy as it sounds- making people laugh.  Sorry!  But it’s true. It’s why I do it.
Getting to say words that are usually frowned upon in social situations.

9. What are the three worst things about being a comedienne?
There’s really just one down side, which is guys I date saying “is this gonna end up in your act?” They think it’s hilarious and that nobody has ever asked that- they have.

10. You have said you were greatly influenced by Lucille Ball and Carol Burnett.  Both had profound endings to their television shows.  If The Chelsea Lately Show ended, what profound ending would you write?
I’d have Chelsea and Chuy be wrongly convicted of a crime and have to go into hiding because the police won’t believe they are innocent.  This way we could always have a nice reunion show where they clear their names.

11. Let’s Play Marry, Murder, Fuck.  Pick from Chelsea, Heather McDonald or Loni Love.
I’d marry Chelsea, murder Heather and Fuck Loni.  I can’t marry Heather because she has kids and I can’t fuck her because I think she’d be too scared to reciprocate so I’d be doing all the work. 

12. What are the three funniest movies of all time?
Arthur (the original, don’t bring up that remake to me, ever)
Tootsie
Happy Gilmore (random I know.  But it kills me every time)

13. How do you define SEXY?
A good sense of humor, olive skin, a little scruff on the face, and a possible drinking problem.

14. Sarah Palin, Arnold Schwarzenegger and President Obama.  Write a quick joke using all three…no matter how bad it is.
Sarah Palin and Arnold Schwarzenegger walk into a bar. President Obama leaves.  (you said bad was fine- that’s all I have!)

15. If the round table was going to have snacks, which it should, what would everyone want?
Is alcohol a snack?

16. Three things you always have in your purse?
Lip gloss, powder, and my health insurance card.  The first 2 are my necessities, the last is something my mom convinced my I have to carry at all times and I’m too afraid not to now.

17. What is a book you would recommend to your best friend?
“Apathy and Other Small Victories” by Paul Neilan.  One of the funniest books I’ve ever read.

18. If you were trapped on a comedy deserted island with five famous people in the world today and you had to only make jokes using these five people’s lives, who would you pick that would give you enough material for the rest of the time?
Keifer Sutherland (in a good way, he’s kind of my hero), Paris Hilton, Waka Flocka Flame, Kate Moss and David Hasselhoff.

19. Boxers, briefs, jockstraps…or nothing at all?
Boxers.

Thanks for the interview Sarah! Can’t wait to hear our shout out on Chelsea in between jokes about Mel Gibson and Teen Mom!

Follow Sarah on Twitter @sarahcolonna or on her fan on Facebook.

Visit her website for tour dates and book information HERE!

Be Yourself.  Be Fearless.  Be Your Own Unexpected Luxury!

Follow Us:

*Photographs courtesy of Sarah Colonna

WARNING: We allow 100 words or less of content per interview to be taken, with a link to our original interview, and used without our authorization. Content larger than 100 words or copying our entire interview without our authorization to be used in ANY manner will result in our taking legal action per copyright infringement.

When reading this random tweet on Twitter “I’ve been at the little league field with back to back games since 10:30 AM & still here-happy Mother’s day 2 me!”, you might not realize those are the words of one of the funniest women in the country. Closer examination brings us into the world of Heather McDonald. Besides writing, producing and starring as a regular “round table” comedienne on the award winning television show Chelsea Lately, she is also on a running tour of performances around the country, presenting her stand-up routine to sold out crowds. Not bad for a wife and mother of three who consistently channels the voices of Sarah Palin, Drew Barrymore, Celine Dion or our favorite, Geri Jewel from The Facts of Life. Every night, we literally wait for the moment when something Heather randomly quips makes even Chelsea Handler laugh and lose her train of thought; a talent which she has perfected well! And while we continue to wait, reading her new national bestseller You’ll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again, we thought we’d reach out and find a little bit more about the funny girl next door under the Amy Winehouse wig…and in front of the Kardashian butt!

1. How would your define yourself using 10 words or less?
A tall hot hilarious brunette married mother of 3!

2. If you weren’t a comedienne, what would you be doing?
Selling residential real estate because I’ve done that on and off for almost 20 years.

3. A teenager comes to you and tells you they want to be a comedienne. What advice would you give them to help them be successful?
I would first say only be a comedienne if people tell you are funny. If they do and you love when you’re telling a story and people are laughing start to write every funny thing you say and think down. Then look into taking improvisation or stand up comedy classes and get up there and do it.

4. You’re a regular member of the Chelsea Lately round table. How do you typically prepare for each show and how do you keep your material fresh?
First I think of what is my point of view and make sure it is different than Chelsea’s then I type a few jokes down for each topic. As I’m getting my hair and make up done I go over them with my make up artist and based on what she laughs at. I choose to say those jokes first.

5. What would we, the boys of raannt, have to do; bribe, threaten, strip, screw…to get on the round table? How is it decided who is a new member?
It is very rare that we have anyone new on because Chelsea really likes having regulars on because of the relationships and chemistry we have with each other. But I would say keep doing what you are doing.

6. Where did the “Heather Long Boobs McDonald” nickname come from?
I was wearing a low cut dress in a sketch and Chelsea called me Long Boobs and it got such a big laugh she kept saying it and caught on. I do not have long boobs.

7. What’s your favorite thing about being on the round table?
Being myself and getting my hair and make up done.

8 You recently released your book “You’ll Never Blue Ball in this Town Again.” Tell us about your book.
It is about all the guys I did not have sex with in LA during the 90s. The main reason being I was virgin until I was 27.
There are a lot of very embarrassing funny dating stories.

9. What is your favorite and least favorite book you have ever read?
Besides Chelsea’s books my other favorite book was Mackenzie’s Phillips autobiography about how she was having a consensual sexual relationship with her father in her 20s for over 10 years. I mean it doesn’t get more juicy than that.

10. Since you’re now a New York Times Bestseller List honoree, what would be two other awards you would like to earn?
I would like to get an Emmy for playing a mom in a hit sitcom and I’d like an Oscar for best supporting actress because comediennes only win Oscars if they are for supporting roles never for best actress.

11. You worked closely with the Kardashians in this book. What was their role in it and how was your experience working with them?
I did not work with them. They are just my friends who loved the book and gave me a quote for the back. However, I’d love to work with them one day designing clothes for flat butts for girls like me.

12. Who are your two favorite celebrities to impersonate. Who have you wanted to impersonate but found too difficult?
My two favorites are Drew Barrymore and Celine Dion. Everyone thinks I do Cher and I can but only when she sings not when she talks.


13. You have been married for over 10 years. What is the secret to a successful marriage?
I got married in the Catholic church and therefore made a promise to God. I plan on going to heaven so therefore I’ve stayed married. No seriously, we do stuff on our own away from our kids and we never let any fight last too long.

14 The bio on your website states you “reside in the San Fernando Valley next door to her parents just in case they run out of milk, Chardonnay or need one of her dad’s Vicodin.” Which one happens most often?
I run out of Chardonnay a lot but my always has a chilled bottle waiting and she loves to drink it with me.

15. Name the sexiest city? Hotel? Movie? Place to kiss? Place to get drunk?
The sexiest city is Cabo. Movie is Unfaithful, Kiss is in the rain (I’ve yet to do that) get drunk in any pool.

16. Let’s play fuck, marry, kill. Chelsea, Chuy and Brad Wollack?
I’d fuck Chelsea because she’s completely bare down there so it wouldn’t be too bad. I’d marry Brad because his parents have their winery and I’d have to kill Chuy, sorry.

17. Give us quick thoughts on the following: Jenna Jameson, the death of Osama Bin Laden, Amy Fisher’s porn career and gay marriage.
Jenna: Amazing mother of twin boys, Osama: I’m having sexual fantasies about the Navy Seal who shot him, Gay Marriage: I want it to be legal everywhere also I love weddings and feel I have a lot of gay invites in my future.

18. If you were going to start your own line of Heather McDonald Chardonnay, since you’re such a huge fan, what would it be called and what would make it so special? How much would you charge?
It would be called Impressions because I do a lot of impressions and it will make an impression at your table. It’s special because it’s buttery. I would charge around 11 dollars.

19. What would you like to be doing in 10 years?
Being on television even more either as myself or playing a comedic role in a funny show.

20. What do you find sexy on a man: boxers, briefs, jockstrap, or nothing at all?
I find boxers sexy because I like the excitement that it might slip out at any moment.

For more information on Heather McDonald, her New York Times bestselling book or her tour dates, contact her website!

Be Yourself.  Be Fearless.  Be Your Own Unexpected Luxury!

Follow Us:

*Photographs thanks to Heather McDonald and Eva Magdalenski and Alex Spieller of Anderson Group Public Relations

WARNING: We allow 100 words or less of content per interview to be taken, with a link to our original interview, and used without our authorization. Content larger than 100 words or copying our entire interview without our authorization to be used in ANY manner will result in our taking legal action per copyright infringement.