Introduction to The Smith’s and Morrissey: Girlfriend in a Coma

Think back to high school days, driving around with new friends, smoking cigarettes even though you don’t really smoke, talking political bullshit although you didn’t even know what you’re talking about.  Walmart’s the man.  The man has to be stopped.  Who the fuck is the man? They get it in Britain you say.  Britain…not England.  Well…maybe London.  All you know of London is Doc Martins and Big Ben and that they’re controlled by a Queen or some shit like that.

And then this chick in the front seat turns around and pulls her headphones off of her head and puts them on yours.  Suddenly this song fills your ears and you’ve never heard anything like it before in your life.  The voice is…amazing! Yet the whole time you’re trying to stay focused on this chick in the front seat blowing chewing gum bubbles so nobody notices you staring at her boyfriend.  It’s a distraction…just a distraction.

Until you go into the music store the following week and ask for a tape from the band who sings about the girl in a coma.  The lady at the counter, dressed in all black, laughs and walks you over to the Alternative section.  The Smiths.  She gives you a quick history lesson on The Smiths and Morrissey and then taps this tape…The Singles, all the while chomping on her chewing gum.  What is it with these chicks and their chewing gum.

You buy the tape and go home, rummaging through your shit to find your older brother’s old Sony cassette Walkman.  Man…they should bring back tapes.

You turn it on and BAM! Girlfriend in a Coma.  You found it! You listen to it over and over until you have all of the words memorized, which takes about three times and then you listen to the rest of the tape.  All night long you lay in bed, thinking about him driving that car and you listen to Morrissey’s words echo in your heart.

The next day at school you wear a safety pin through your pierced ear and you write The Smiths on your French folder with a thick, black Sharpie.

And for the first time…he smiles at you.

One of our all time faves…Girlfriend in a Coma!

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