This very long post goes to all of you beautiful, gay, kids out there that are just trying to find your place! Almost exactly three years ago my mother died in a hospital bed while I held her hand. “I’m just a bag of soul” she was fond of saying, so I tried hard to not attach myself to her lifeless body seconds after she was gone. But as I looked down at her, one thing became extremely clear. We are here but for a moment.
My mom loved Bob Dylan and Neil Young. She loved to dance in the kitchen to Janet Jackson and Shirley Manson from Garbage. She saw every movie that came out and always hosted an Oscar party. She was hands down one of the most stylish women I have ever known and would quickly but cheerfully correct you if you mispronounced a designer. “Honey, I think you mean Ralph Lauren, not Ralph Loren.”
When she was 15 her stepfather caught several boys from her school outside her window watching her change. The police who were called asked my mom if she wore tight sweaters to school to entice the boys. She never wore a tight sweater again…until she was 51 and got sober. “Life is too short to care what other people have to say. If they want to look, let them look.” And look they did because at the time she began wearing almost all black, v-neck shirts she measured in as a cup size F. “I’ve been embarrassed all my life. I just don’t care anymore.” She would laugh.
She could talk for hours about Hilary Clinton politics, Angela Davis and the Black Panther Coalition just as much as she could recite lines from Out of Africa and Singing in the Rain. She loved Chanel. Mac Cosmetics. Michael Kors women’s cologne. Kids. Life…Me. And because of all of that, she passed on to me a vibrancy for living unlike any other. She inspired me, by all that she did with her life…but mostly by the dreams she never fulfilled, to live a life of unbelievable imagination, creativity and a desire for more!
And that, my dears, is what raannt is all about. Vibrancy for living to your fullest potential, honestly, without any bullshit!. Loving yourself enough to not give a FUCK what anyone else has to say. Being willing to not stand at the back of the bus. Willing to defend yourself if someone treats you wrong. Challenging anyone who compromises your chance at a truly sexy life.
Today we received this text from a dear friend. “Love that you guys are not afraid to be yourself!! Love it love it!! Promise you the only way you will stand above the rest is to not worry what others think!!” So true. Last week, we wanted to stir up a little controversy and have some fun. We do not interview celebrities to brag about it but to ask the questions others want to know. But why shouldn’t we brag about it? It’s fun. We live a fucking fun ass life.
But the reality is it has been an uphill battle the entire way since we started raannt. Why??? Because of the three little clues we gave you on Friday. Three reasons why this city, Indianapolis, will never be sexy. And you can hate us and you can judge us, we don’t care…but know this. What we write is always the truth. Someone on Friday said we were “social revolutionaries”! Well…the revolution has begun. To those negative people that called us Mean Girls and assumed this was a Burn Book…get ready because the revolution has just begun. We won’t stop until Indianapolis is seething sexiness. We will challenge every last one of you to ooze it from your pores and make this city so unbelievable you’ll want to sweat every night listening to the deep beats of local DJ’s, talk for weeks about the macaroni and cheese at Usual Suspects. Whisper about that last date where you kissed under the blanket on the lawn at the IMA while watching Casablanca. Yes Indy…you have it in you, but you have to demand it!!!
We firmly believe in sexiness, obviously. Confidence and self-acceptance. The reality that a 400 pound woman can be just as beautiful, sexual, sensual and desired as a size 0. The reality that color has no place accept to define fifty shades of amazing. The reality that gay is straight and straight is gay and none of it makes any kind of sense anyway and LOVE is the only thing that matters in the end. We believe that women AND men, should rise to the top of whatever they want to be; DJ’s, doctors, rappers, comics, parents…and yes, even porn stars. We believe, we believe, we believe…mostly, in the truth. Because the truth shall set you free…you see. And the truth, is that Indianapolis will NEVER be sexy, until it stops allowing political and social closemindedness, endorsing unoriginal thieves and allows everyone the same opportunities. Yes…the truth!
So…onto the show.
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1. DOINGITINDYDUDES
Boring. Lacking Substance. No originality. Opportunists. Grocery store openings? Hipster Scene Reviewers? We don’t think so. Remember, they are “social media” so they have put themselves out there for us to review. These guys could bore a stamp off a 10 year postcard, as could the top 5 things they suggest for people to do in Indy. How they EVER got a spot on Fox 59 is unreal to us…and please don’t claim that we’re jealous because we wouldn’t accept a show in Indiana anyway. Anyone that knows us intimately knows we would love a local radio show 1-2 times a month and a national television show. Hell the one gay host we have in Indy won’t even come out in public.
Oh, we’re bitter right? That’s what you’re thinking? Hmmmm…They claim they started in October of 2010. Let’s read an email we sent them on 12-10-10 after their first spot on Fox 59.
Our names are Peter and Alex and we saw you on Fox 59…We’re kind of surprised we hadn’t already heard of you. Anyway, we do something similar to what you’re doing but we
focus pretty much directly on the nightlife, bar/social scene. We’ve learned in the year and a half that we’ve been doing this that it’s much better to collaborate than to step on
each other’s toes bc Indy is pretty small so we thought we would just extend a hand and see if you guys ever wanted to meet up for drinks and see if we could come up with
some ideas on how to work together or collaborate in any way. If not, that’s cool but we just thought we’d ask. Probably like you, the idea for us started simply and we really just
do it for fun, but now it has become a huge part of our lives and probably the part we enjoy the most, so we love connecting with other like minds and really making Indy as great as a
city as possible! Just let us know…
Peter and Alex
the boys of raannt
No response as of yet. And we don’t expect one, either. But hell, we tried. Hey, we’re just trying to improve this city and work together…You can expect our parody shortly on our YouTube channel…because dear raannters…in doingitindylicious…you’ve entered the congregation of The Church of the Corny! Get rid of them. Do you really think Kim Kardashian is going to go duck pin bowling when she comes here for the Superbowl? For Christ sake!
2. AMY BARTNER AND METROMIX
God! Isn’t she cute? So cute that you’d trust her right? We did. Actually, let’s take a look back. Hmmm…well, we contacted Amy on 4-19-10 about the possibility of writing something for them. Amy responded the very same day.
Hi, Peter! You’ve been on our radar for a while now and we’ve been meaning to contact you. We’re totally interested in something….we just don’t know what at this point. Amanda said she’ll get back to you soon! (But if you don’t hear back in a week, feel free to e-mail again!)
Thanks for contacting us and we look forward to working with you! 🙂
Amy
Never heard from her until 6-2-10
I know, I know. I suck for taking so long to get in contact with you. I’m
not totally sure what our plans for partnership with you both will be in the
future, but I do know that I want to feature you as local celebrities in our
Pride issue coming out next week. Can you come in to answer a few questions
and get your photo taken on Monday? Actually, the questions can be e-mailed
— might be easier for your schedule.
Let me know if we can do this!!
Thanks, and I look forward to meeting you guys!
Amy
OHHHH…Did we mention that we’re gay??? We did? Did we mention that our first porn star interview came out almost a year before and she and her “boss” Amanda Kingsbury were aware of this? Let’s look further…On 6-7-10 we responded to her request for a meeting with our schedules and agreed to meet at Midtown on Tuesday to discuss our writing for Metromix. Remember Amanda…you said you could write it off because you still needed to write about Midtown. Still waiting for that one. By the way, we feel it’s professional courtesy when you request a meeting for you or your corporation to pick up the tab, we always do. Anyway, we discussed our working for Metromix and writing a Page Six Gossip column and Amanda said she would look at her budget to see what she could pay us but she would definitely be having us write for them. That…sounds a little bit like a verbal business contract. OHHH…but wait Amanda, you emailed 2 days later with an actual writing assignment!!! A Playboy event? Like as in Playboy magazine? Like as in nudie pics? Wait…isn’t that #nsfw? Not safe for work. I know Amy likes that term because she used it on Twitter to describe our blog.
Ok, boys, this is how it works for the test assignment…
XXXX is from Playboy; he’s the (very nice) person you need to contact/ask for when you get to Ice Ultra Lounge on June 11 (around 8 p.m. – the party probably starts around 9 p.m)
I didn’t ask for any special consideration besides making sure you got in/got access – including an interview with the Playmate host. Please give us something fun and Page-6ish by the end of the day Sunday. E-mail it to me and Amy. We’ll have a photographer on site so don’t worry about photos.
Thanks & have fun!
Great to meet you last night…hope this is the start of a beautiful friendship.
Anyway…this is getting boring, but let’s just look at a few more emails…
Hey, guys!! Hope you had a good weekend…good seeing Alex on Saturday! I’m
assuming he recovered more than I did for Saturday night! 🙂 …I passed out
at 10 (worthless!).
Just wondering if you got a chance to send in your first column? I thought
we were hoping to start that this week! And I can’t remember what name we
landed on…Alex and I threw around a few on Saturday morning. Just let me
know what you’d prefer!
Thanks, guys!
Amy
Hahaha…such a funny girl. Wait!!! Does that sound like we’re actually working for Metromix? It did to us. But we still hadn’t heard from Amanda, about our pay scale? Hmmm…Well…something happened because first we got sent to Taste of Tango, which was closed down? Then they sent us to Whiskey Business where we stood out like walking gay rainbows at a strip mall bar, which is what it was. And then we sent an email on 10-14-10
Good Afternoon
We’ve tried to reach you several times and have still not had any luck. We’re just wondering if you have any plans for us in the future and if so can we set up a meeting to discuss. If not then we’re interested in what changed and why.
Thank you
Peter and Alex
Sorry it’s been difficult for you to reach us! I’ve only gotten one e-mail in the last few weeks, so I hope I’m not just not receiving anything from you. We’d love to meet to talk about your work with Metromix, and I know Amanda talked to you about times you’re available for lunch/a meeting. Can we meet the week of Nov. 8? What time’s good for you guys that week?
Thanks,
Amy
After that a few emails have been exchanged but…no lunch. So you want to come to us about airing our professional complaints or wounded pride??? Uhhhh…No! We’re just stating our opinion and displaying facts about what happened because we feel it is important in defending our character, especially since 8 months ago these ladies were offering us assignments, excited to work with us and now were…#nsfw…NOT SAFE FOR WORK???
AND THEN…The best of the best…The email….which she claimed Friday after we posted it without her name and the Metromix title. We’re assuming, because we would have, you knew we were going to post it on Monday anyway so why everyone’s going nut crazy like you did something honorable is a joke. In our opinion, you knew you were nailed.
Hi Peter and Alex,
Hope all is well. When I went to your blog today, I noticed the link to Metromix Indianapolis on the right rail. We appreciate the link, but raannt’s content doesn’t jive with the content Metromix produces. I’m hoping you can remove it.
Thanks!
Amy
You are one confusing lady, dearest Amy. I think not only did it seem like we were jiving but you choreographed the jive? Not even a response on why we don’t “jive”? Not here…before, you should have addressed it before, in a professional manner. Or were you just pissed that I challenged you on Twitter? Ohhhhh…but we’re liars, mean girls and assholes right? Based on the comments we’ve received? Yeah, right. Well burn this one…if Indianapolis continues to support a newspaper that has issues with raannt being not safe for work bc of a picture of one of the world’s most famous photographers, Mike Ruiz, in a speedo, but pays it’s bills by endorsing strip clubs, including a half page ad for Dancer’s, then Indy is trashy…not sexy. And we love strip clubs. Hell Amy, since you guys love them so much, how bout we meet up at Club Rio and discuss these issues. We’ll even buy you a lap dance! There’s your prize!
3. THE INDIANA HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES
Friday we posted this picture of Indiana Republican State Representative Jud McMillin who voted for the gay marriage ban. OHHHH…did we mention that he has a secret past including photographs he texted of himself masturbating while using a dildo on himself? Now that would be a porn star interview we would LOVE to get!!!Wait…is this one of the people you were referring to when you called us Mean Girls who had produced a Burn Book??? You support this guy? Really?
Bil Browning, Founder and Editor in Chief of The Bilerico Project, wrote an amazing and integral look into the life of this young man. It reads like a Jackie Collins/James Patterson bestseller and we love it!!! A Tale of Glass Houses and Rocks.
And then, ridiculous Dan Burton introduces the Marriage Protection Act of 2011…making it even harder for us to register at Crate and Barrel! Damn, he’s just pissed because nobody’s texting him nudie shots! Look…we’re not stopping until all 70 representatives who voted for this dated and bigoted bill are exposed and ridiculed! And we look at this two ways…you’re either with us or against us on this one. We don’t even want to hear about your excuses. It’s 2011 and that is way to late in the game for us to sit and entertain dated gay jokes about fudge packing and lesbian dinosaurs. Too late to hear excuses about why marriage is a thing of tradition and church. The time is NOW! It’s time for a change!!! It’s time for Indiana to finally fess up, make a change and GET SEXY!!!! That won’t happen until everyone is accepted. And to the gay community…that means working together “as a community” and supporting one another not tearing each other apart. We need to be unified for the common good and support one another!
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSGXe-x-E9g]
So, there you have it…just a few small changes that need to be made. We’re not asking for a lot. We just want to have a fun time. We want to dance late into the night, make love, eat lots of pizza and chocolate. We just want our fair share. We want to be entertained, not bored. We want to hold hands, not hold up our fists. And if you don’t like our blog…DON’T FUCKIN READ IT!!! We want love, love, love…did you hear us?? We said LOVE…LOVE…LOVE!!!!
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Ohhh…and from here on out…we’re only doing interviews!
Eyes Open, We’re Watching!
*the statements in this article and any article related to the above subjects is solely our opinion and the opinion of Peter, Alex and raannt.